Anemone: Disapearance of Hope
by Karristan
Summary: A new enemy threatens the peace of Karakura. Can they be stopped before all peace is gone? Or will there be another battle? R&R TatsuXHime hinting. Yuri.
1. Silence is broken

_An asterisk (*) one or more indicates a side note at the end of the chapter to help explain certain things. Also I marked the 'explained text' so it's less confusing. If there is more then one side note per chapter their will be added asterisks (always at end of sentence not before). _

_If things are written in italics it indicates a voice that speaks in the mind. Not thoughts but more like telepathically. Think Xavier from X-men as an example. Also when someone is masked and they are speaking it will be in italics._

_- An exception is made for single italic words the indicate heavy emphasis on selected word_

_I tried to keep this as close to the way Kubo Tite presents bleach with the exception of long pointless explanations that no one really cares about or pays attention to. Besides a bad guy giving the good guy all the reasons why he's a bad guy and why he's doing things is not realistic with the exception they were friends before. So there are some plot holes so use your imagination to fill them if you wish._

_**Disclaimer: **__ I DO NOT OWN BLEACH OR ANYTHING ELSE I REFERENCED. ALL I OWN IS MY IMAGINATION… and a bit of booze _

_R&R All opinions are welcome even if you hated it. Enjoy_

**Anemone: Disappearance of Hope**

**- Silence Is Broken -**

It's been quiet lately. There is nothing really to do now but wait and keep up appearances. Even now I can't afford to slip up and our little strawberry has begun to spoil with a rotten mood.* At least that keeps me on my toes. However his attitude is a tad annoying. That fool never lightens up, not even in this peaceful time we have.

The others seem to be enjoying themselves. Chad has found another bird to take care of, and Uryuu has continued his… sewing, while Orihime is enjoying her time with her friends. But even when things aren't quiet that girl enjoys every moment of her life. Orihime is the perfect example of a free spirit.

You can't exactly say that about the rest of her friends though. A couple of them are easy going, one is near the top of the class when it comes to grades not to mention she's an amazing runner, another is a karate expert and the last is well... how should I put this, she's an 'aggressive lesbian'. I believe that is the term they use.

I've had lunch with them before. This is probably the seventh time they have invited me to spend time with them. I'd like to say no and stay near Ichigo in case a hollow appears but who can say no to Orihime's smile of gentle voice. Not that I mind, I actually prefer them to Ichigo's company. However I don't want to put Orihime in the position where she would have to slay a hollow with me.

"Hey, Rukia you've been out of it lately. Is something wrong?" Michiru asked.

I looked up to see everyone giving me a worried look. I reply as cheerful as possible; "Everything's fine, don't worry about it."

"See, I told you she was fine." Orihime said with a reassuring smile.

Everyone's gaze slowly shifted back to their meal or to each other. My gaze also shifted back down to my lunch. I could tell not all eyes were off of me. I look up and meet eyes with Tatsuki. She looks away immediately, dropping her eyes back to her lunch. That's strange. "Is everything alright, Tatsuki? You seem to be distracted lately."

Now all eyes were on Tatsuki as a minor blush formed on her cheeks. "I'm fine," she replied arrogantly. "I just have something on my mind."

"Oh, is this about that guy you were telling me about earlier?" Orihime chimed brightly.

"What? No way. You actually found a guy you like, Tatsuki?" Mahana exclaimed.

"Don't tell me you like Ichigo as well." Ryou said slyly while hiding behind a book.

The minor blush grows on Tatsuki's cheeks at all the attention. Chizuru's face brightened tremendously "That's great! That means Hime is all mine!"

With that the redheaded lesbian leaps at Orihime, much to the displeasure of Ryou whose lunch was knocked over in the process. I let out a chuckle as Tatsuki pulled Chizuru off of Orihime.

"That's not going to happen, Chizuru. Even if I did find someone, which is _not_ Ichigo by the way," She shot Ryou a dark look. "You still can't go after Orihime."

"So who do you like?" Michiru asked.

"Ha, it's probably someone from her dojo." Mahana said.

"It's none of your business who I like, and I'm not talking about it." Tatsuki said stubbornly.

"You better watch out Chizuru, it looks like you may have some competition." Ryou teased.

"Will you shut up? It's nothing like that!" Tatsuki snapped.

My chuckle stopped at the seriousness in her tone and the slight flare up of reiatsu. That should not be there at all. Any joy I felt faded as Tatsuki's reiatsu did. I watched her with a stern expression as she returns to her lunch.

The bell rings and Michiru let's a sigh. "When will be able to have a peaceful lunch where we actually finish eating?"

"At least you still have a lunch." Ryou said eyeing Chizuru who gave her a forced look of sympathy

"It's not my fault that my Hime is so cute." She said restlessly as if ready for another pounce at the girl.

Slowly everyone gathered their belongings and started back to class. "Tatsuki, hold on for a moment." I called. "I need to talk to you about something."

She gave me an odd look before shrugging. "Sure, I'll meet you guys in class." She called out to the others. "What's up?"

The others went on ahead but Orihime lingered a moment giving me a concerned look. I give her a quick nod and she goes back to class. I hesitate for a moment and consider how to start. Is there any way to start? I let out a sigh. "Is everything all right?"

"I'm fine." She replies with a minor blush. "Why do you ask?"

"You've been distracted lately and something about you is different now." I tell her hoping she'll fess up about her reiatsu flare or anything related to that. It was definitely strange. It felt more of a defensive flare up then an angered one.

"It's nothing." Tatsuki replied looking away. "We're going to be late for class."

Tatsuki turned and started back. I didn't move from my spot. "Does it have anything to do with your little crush on Orihime?"

Tatsuki stopped dead in her tracks. "It's not Orihime." She said as her reiatsu picked up its earlier defense. "I never said anything like that."

"Is that so? Then why are you defensive?" I asked with a sly tone.

Tatsuki looked over at me. "You think I'm acting defensive?"

"No, your actions say you're in denial." I say before diving in. "Your reiatsu is defensive."

"What is?" Tatsuki said slowly while going a bit pale.

"You're familiar with the term then?" Tatsuki offered a small nod. "It's your spiritual power. It allows you to see and experience things a normal human can't. An example of that would be the ability to see spirits."

Tatsuki went even paler making it obvious she could already see spirits. She must already have some sort of grasp on what's going on around her. Tatsuki remained silent. "Is there anything else you have encountered other then normal spirits?"

Tatsuki remained silent as I made my way over to her. I place my hands on her shoulders and gave her a serious look. "Tatsuki, I need you to be honest with me. Your life could be in danger."

"There's nothing else. But I do get a really bad feeling sometimes. Almost like I'm being watched or followed." Her face twisted with fear as she spoke the next words "Every time I turn around to confront it there's nothing there."

"I see, when does this normally happen? Are you alone or does it happen when you're with Orihime?" I asked bluntly.

Tatsuki looked at me with intense fear as her next words stumbled out. "What does Orihime have to do with this?"

"Orihime can handle herself when it comes to these things." I say reassuringly taking my hands off her shoulders. "I'm sorry. We'll have to talk about this after school. Class is about to start."

"What does Orihime have to do with this?" Tatsuki replied as her reiatsu flared with anger now.

"As I said, she can handle herself. You should be more concerned with yourself." I reply. "If you get this feeling when you're alone then you are in danger and you need to control your reiatsu."

Tatsuki grabbed the collar of my shirt. "Answer me, Rukia. How is Orihime involved in any of this?"

"Calm down you fool, you'll attract a hollow. Then you'll never know anything" Tatsuki loosened her grip but her hands lingered along with her reiatsu. "Tatsuki, you need to calm down."

Tatsuki released me and looked away her former blush once again on her cheeks. "I want answers, Rukia."

So it is Orihime that she likes. I can feel a sly smile form involuntary on my face. "All in good time, but for now we need to go somewhere else." She shoots me an angry look. "You may have attracted a hollow. If you did then we need to lead it away from the school so no one else gets involved."

She doesn't argue as I lead her out of the school. She doesn't speak nor do our eyes meet when I glance over at her. She must not like me too much and come to think of it, the confrontation we just had is probably the most we have ever talked. Though she had no problem meeting my eyes before, but now with all this it must be difficult to do so. I shouldn't have brought up Orihime. But it seemed like a good way to determine if it was her that was attracting the hollows or if it was just Orihime.

No, if it was Orihime the hollows were after, then Tatsuki should be more aware of the situation she is in. There is no way Orihime would fight hollows in front of Tatsuki and not tell her what was going on. Is Orihime even aware that hollows are after Tatsuki? Would Tatsuki even talk to her about this? "Tatsuki, how much does Orihime know about this?"

"I didn't even know she had anything to do with this." She replied distantly.

I watched her with worry as her face became paler by the second. We were already far enough from the school now so that no one there would get involved if a hollow did appear. I slowed our pace but Tatsuki was only getting worse. "Are you alright, Tatsuki?"

"There's one here isn't there? You called it a hollow, right?" Her voice shook with fear. "I can feel it watching me. It's following us."

I looked around in disbelief I hadn't sensed a thing how could there be a hollow here. There's nothing around us. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my soul pager. There was nothing on the screen. Was it broken? "Are you sure you sense a hollow? I don't see it or even sense it."

"How can you not feel it? It's right behind us." Her voice was small and weak.

I stopped and turned on my heel ready to face whatever was there. Tatsuki grabbed my arm. I could feel her shaking. Was what she felt that intimidating? "Can we hurry up? I need to get away from this right now. I can't stand this feeling."

Fear ran deep within her voice and sent a chill down my spine. Was what she felt that dreadful? I turned and quickened our pace. She had no complaints about this and had no trouble keeping up. I glanced over and by the look on her face we were still being followed.

"Tatsuki, I need you to keep going." I said while pulling my soul candy out of my pocket. "Chappy will lead you somewhere safe. You'll be fine. I'm going to hold it off."

"What? Rukia don't leave." She gave me a terrified look.

"I'll be right behind you. Don't worry, everything will be fine." I said before swallowing the soul candy.

I fell out of my gigai and watched as it stumbled before Chappy regained balance. She looked back. "Get her to Urahara's and keep her safe." I ordered before turning around.

My hand was on the hilt of my Zanpakutou. I was ready for what ever was there. Behind me I could hear Chappy's cheerful laughter as she dragged Tatsuki down the street. I eyed everything that moved and everything that didn't move. I couldn't see anything. What was Tatsuki so afraid of?

My eyes widen and I glanced back. Did it get by me when I had my guard down? That's not possible. That was only for an instant. '_An instant is all we need, soul reaper.'_

The cold words echoed inside my head as I returned my gaze to the empty street before me. There was nothing there. Where had that voice come from?

'_Look as much as you want.'_

The voice spoke as if it were in my mind.

'_It's already too late.'_

My eyes widened in fear as pain stretched across my upper body from my shoulder down across to my waist. What was that? Blood sprayed from my body. That was no hollow. I fell to my knees. What are you?

'_We are Anemone...' **_

Darkness took my vision before I hit the ground but the voice remained in my mind.

'_We are the Disappearance of Hope.'_

*_ Ichigo translates to strawberry as well as 15 ichi (1) go (5) for those of you who didn't know that._

** _The meaning behind Anemone is disappearance of hope. _

**- End Part 1 –**


	2. Voices in the dark

**- Voices In The Dark -**

'_We are Anemone… We are the Disappearance of Hope.'_

A cold darkness surrounded me and I could barely make out a white silhouette in the distance. It didn't matter I knew what it was.

"That was pathetic." An icy cold voice said.

I looked away ashamed in my performance. She was right, that was pathetic. I didn't even see my attacker not to mention the single attack that cut me down. She was in front of me now. I looked at her. Her very presence demanded full attention. Her beautiful white yakuta with the light green sash, her ice white skin, her ice blue hair, and the deep blue hairpin that resembled a diamond, her beauty was left unchallenged. "I give you my power and yet you don't use it and then get cut down in an instant. When will you stop holding back your true power? You are much stronger then this."

Her voice chilled my soul. I got on my knee and bowed to her. "Forgive me. I was distracted during the attack. When I looked back it was already too late."

"That doesn't matter anymore." Her voice warmed. Our eyes met. Her scowl had been replaced by a slight smile. "Don't drop your guard for even an instant. It will be your death against this new enemy."

"I understand." I reply coolly.

She bent over. Her mouth was near my ear. I didn't dare question her. "Wake up, Rukia."

* * *

><p>My eyes slowly opened and I felt a dull pain spread throughout my body. Slowly I sat up wincing as the pain coursed through me. I could hear crying to my left. I looked over and saw Tatsuki sitting against the wall. "Tatsuki, are you alright?"<p>

Tatsuki gasped and looked over. She scrambled to her feet before rushing over to me. Her face held a grief stricken expression. Why was she shedding tears for my injuries? "Are you okay?"

I nod not knowing what to say. I am awestruck at her grieving. How did I even get here and what was that back there? There was no way that could have been a hollow. It was something else entirely. I need to report this to soul society. They might know what this is. "Where's Urahara?" I mutter as the pain worsens in my upper body. "I need to talk to him."

"Do you want me to get him?" Tatsuki asked as she tied to lay me down. I nod with a smile allowing her to lay me down. "I'll be right back."

She ran out of the room in a hurry. I couldn't help but smile at her dedication. I get up regardless of her silent protests and find I am back in my gigai. That explains how she was able to see me and the lack of sever pain that I should be feeling right now. But how did I get back here?

It doesn't matter how I got here, I need to report this. I need to find out what this is and why Tatsuki is involved. The only connection she has with the spirit world is Orihime, and Tatsuki, herself isn't even aware of that connection. So out of all the others that they could be after why are they after Tatsuki? Why aren't they after someone else?

Unless she, herself is just a key to getting to someone else. They could get at Orihime easily through Tatsuki. That is most likely what the situation is but why go through all that trouble? Orihime lives alone and it would be a lot easier to just go after her. Unless they just want to use Tatsuki as a distraction to get everyone off guard. If that's the case then the two of them can't be left alone. Not until this is sorted out.

I heard hurried movement from the hallway. The door slid open and Tatsuki burst inside dragging Urahara by the arm. "Well, Rukia you certainly have energetic friends." Urahara said while hiding his face behind a fan. "You should have Orihime over later as well so we can have a nice private party."

"You wish, you pervert." Tatsuki snapped at him.

"Urahara, what do you know about a group called 'Anemone'." I said bluntly before he has time to reply.

"That's a name I haven't heard in a while. Let's see, they were an old clan of soul reapers that went rouge about a thousand years ago." He said lowering his fan revealing his permanent five o'clock shadow.

"What happened to them?" I asked my tone of voice unchanging.

"They started a war with Soul Society. Shortly after that they were all killed." He said.

"There must have been a survivor. Someone is trying to bring back the clan." I said. "Who ever attacked me mentioned the name."

"That's not possible. They were all wiped out, and I mean all of them. Even the ones who turned their back on the rest of the clan and remained loyal to the Gotei 13 were executed."

"Then someone wants to be them." I said.

Urahara let out a long sigh. "I don't know. Not many people even remember who they are. Even most of the Gotei 13 doesn't know who they are anymore."

Tatsuki looked at both of us with a puzzled expression. She wasn't following any of this at all. "Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Tatsuki asked. "Why am I being followed?"

"Urahara, I need you to fill her in on this. I'm going back to Soul Society to report this." I said while searching for my soul candy.

"Is that a good idea?" Urahara asked while tossing me a soul candy. "We don't even know what's going on yet or if this is the real Anemone or just someone who wants to be them. You should wait until we find out more about this. Besides, your wound needs to heal anyways."

"They said 'we'. It's more then one person and they are after Tatsuki. This needs to be reported in." I swallowed the soul candy. "I don't care about my wound."

As soon as my spirit left the gigai I could feel my wound reopen. I feel to my knees in pain. "I told you. You should have waited, now you've reopened your wound."

"I'm fine. I'll be back later." I struggled to my feet.

"Rukia, sit down. I know you're impatient but you won't even make it through the dagai like this. The kouryuu will trap you in there and you will die." He said sternly. "Rest up. If it makes you happy, I'll send Yoruichi to Soul Society to report this for you."

"Not yet," I say weakly. "Orihime can't be alone. She might be involved in this as well."

"I'll have her brought here first then. Lay down and get some rest." He looked over at Tatsuki who was even more worried now. "You and Chappy can come with me I'll explain things."

They left in silence as Tatsuki gave Chappy a worried look*. I laid back down wincing at the pain. As the pain slowly began to fade my mind became active with thoughts and possibilities about what all of this was about. The door opened once more and Yoruichi let herself in. She walked over carrying a small box without word and sat down beside me. "You've reopened your wound haven't you?"

I nod and sit up so she can redress the wound. I pull down my robes as she retrieves a cloth from the box. Glancing at my robes I can see how much blood had seeped into them already. "So what's after the human?"

"I don't know. I didn't see them but they spoke to me. They called themselves the Anemone." I said.

Yoruichi stopped what she was doing and her eyes narrowed. "Has Kisuke told you about them?"

"Yes, but something isn't right about it. If they all died why is someone impersonating them? And why target a human? It doesn't make any sense."

"I don't know." Yoruichi said as she begins to take off the dirty bandage. "They left you alive though. They may want their presence to be known. They may want Soul Society to get involved. We should wait things out and get more information before we make our move."

"While we sit around waiting they could attack again. Or they could go after Tatsuki." I said with panic in my voice.

"That's true, but we may get more answers if they appear again. We may also find out what they're really after." She said. "I think there is more to this. It's been over a thousand years since their execution. They wouldn't act so recklessly unless they were after something."

"What could they possibly be after?" I ask bewildered.

Yoruichi remained silent as she finished wrapping up my wound. I didn't mind. We were both deep in our own thoughts. Yet they were the same in general. We both dwelt on the Anemone, yet I have a feeling I am more concerned about Tatsuki's well being then Yoruichi is. No matter, I will make sure nothing happens to her. "Tatsuki, what's going on?" A voice echoes down the hall

"It sounds like Orihime's here. Do you want me to bring her in here?" Yoruichi asks.

"No, I'll be fine. I just need to rest a little." I reply.

Yoruichi nodded as I fixed my robes. She stood up and made her way to the door where she looked back. "I'll travel to Soul Society and see what else I can find out. If there is anything of interest we'll discuss it."

"Thank you, Yoruichi." I said as she left the room.

I let a sigh escape me as I lay back down. The pain from my movements slowly begins to fade as I remain still. I closed my eyes and let the whole scene play out in my head. If there was something there I should have seen it. Where was it hiding and where is it now?

My eyes shoot open. What if it followed us here? No one would notice but Tatsuki, unless I'm the only one who is unable to sense it. No that's not even possible someone else would have sensed it before and the situation would already be known to us.

There is a knock at the door making me lose my thoughts. The door slides open and Orihime let's herself in quietly. The look on her face shows her discomfort. It's clear she doesn't like the current situation. I don't blame her after all it's her best friend that's in danger.

She sits next to me. Her concern grows as she brings up Souten Keishun. "What did this, Rukia?"

Her voice held an anger that was uncommon for her. I hate being unable to answer her. My fists clench. I hate being so useless. Why couldn't I sense it? Why couldn't I do anything? "I don't know."

It's a little surprising to hear the anger that shakes my own voice. The warmth of the Souten Keishun begins to fade as my wound has healed and the inner shield disappeared back to her hairpin. Her anger seemed to fade as well. Even if it was just a little.

I know she wants to know exactly what happened but I don't even know what it was. Orihime watched me expectantly, waiting for me to answer her unasked questions. "I'm sorry, Orihime. I really don't know what happened back there. It all happened so fast. I don't even know what attacked me. All I know for sure is that it was _not_ a hollow. We're facing something else now."

"Why Tatsuki though? She has nothing to do with this. She never has. I've made sure of it." Orihime said as tears formed in her eyes.

I sit up to try and comfort her. "I know you did your best to protect her, but you've sensed it yourself right? You must have known for a while now Tatsuki has become more aware of the spiritual world. Today her reiatsu flared up. It may have attracted what ever it was that attacked me."

Orihime didn't respond as regret flashed in her eyes. At least she was aware of it. "You need to talk to Tatsuki about these things now. She'll talk to you more then anyone else. She needs to know you'll be there for her through this."

Orihime smiled. "Tatsuki already knows that I would be there for her no matter what. I would never turn my back on a friend."

I can't help but smile at the confidence she holds for her friends. She's a bit like Ichigo with his confidence but thankfully she lacks his attitude problem. Yet she has so much potential and no desire to obtain her true power. With Tatsuki involved she may no longer have a choice in the matter. "Shall we go see what's going on now? Tatsuki needs you right now."

"I'm not the only one she needs now." Orihime said with a smile.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

Orihime placed a finger to her lips and closed one eye. "It's a secret."

**- End Part 2 –**

* _Tatsuki can't see soul reapers yet. I know she can after the 'Soul Society arc' in the series but I thought it would add awkwardness to her interactions with Rukia if she couldn't see her._


	3. Take my hand and get stronger

**- Take My Hand And Get Stronger -**

It's been a few hours now. Orihime, Tatsuki and I have been training in the area under Urahara's shop. Orihime is training her abilities to the side while I try to teach Tatsuki to control her reiatsu. She has begun to understand the basics of it but she still has no control. I have begun losing patience with this.

"You need to release your energy." I snapped. This was taking way too long. Tatsuki still couldn't even raise her reiatsu on will.

"I'm trying." Tatsuki said impatiently. She had been sitting in a meditational position for a long time now. So far all of our tactics proved useless.

The only improvement that had been made at all was Orihime's shield strength but her attack still lacks any resolve. She will never be able to kill an opponent. These two will be a problem when things get bad. Tatsuki has the will to fight but lacks the power while Orihime, on the other hand has the power but lacks the will to use it.

It's time we switched tactics once more. "That's enough. Take a break for now."

Tatsuki relaxed letting her posture slump as she let out a long sigh. "How much longer are we going to do this?"

"As long as it takes, or need I remind you that your life is in danger." I said bluntly. "Also, you need to consider those around you as well. Just by being near them you are putting them in danger."

Tatsuki's eye still lingered away from mine. In fact she was looking past me to where Orihime was still training with Tsubaki. She didn't say anything. I crossed my arms and let out a sigh. "What do you plan on doing?"

She gave me a strange look as she said; "Isn't it obvious? I want to get stronger. I don't want to have to rely on anyone to protect me."

"That's a good plan. But that's not what I was asking." I said. "I was talking about your crush on Orihime. Are you planning on tell her?"

Tatsuki's eyes finally met mine. "Why do you think it's Orihime, when I keep telling you it's not? It's someone else."

"Don't play me for a fool. It's obvious that you like her." She remains silent. "You should just confess. If you don't tell her you'll always be weak and you'll always rely on others to protect you. She's the reason you can't concentrate."

"Enough! I don't need to hear this from you!" She snapped.

Her reiatsu flared up again. It was a little more intense then earlier. This is good. Now all she has to do is control it. "Tatsuki," Orihime calls from behind me. "Is everything all right?"

"Don't talk to her, Orihime. Just focus on your own training."

I could tell she hesitated before she continued with her training. Now her training was hesitant as well. We'll never get anywhere like this. Already Tatsuki's reiatsu was beginning to fade.

"Are you afraid of your weakness?" I say to fuel her anger. "Are you afraid that when the time comes you won't be able to do anything but watch?"

Her reiatsu picked up a little. The look in her eyes showed so much hurt and betrayal. If she ever thought of me as a friend before she doesn't now. It doesn't matter, this has to be done. "Are you afraid that everyone will have to protect you because you're so useless?"

That had done it. I couldn't sense Orihime's reiatsu any more. She had stopped what she was doing. She must be angry with me as well. "I'm not useless!" Tatsuki snapped. "I don't need anyone to protect me. I can fend for myself."

"Prove it." I challenged. She may be an expert in karate but that does nothing against what were dealing with. "Fight me."

She looks away and doesn't move. Her fists clench as her reiatsu continues on its rise. She let's out a sigh and her reiatsu begins to fade. "Don't let it fade!" I yell. "Keep your reiatsu up!"

She doesn't look over and continues to let her reiatsu fade. "Tatsuki, concentrate or you'll always be weak! Do you want to rely on others for the rest of your life?"

It's too late. There is no trace of it ever being there. I let out a sigh as Orihime approaches from behind me.

"I'm done." I announce as I turn and walk away. I grab Orihime's arm as we walk by each other, stopping her in her tracks. "I'm sorry. It had to be done."

She nods as I let go and continue on my way. I get a little ways away before I stop dead in my tracks. I turn back towards them and shout; "Tatsuki, you're staying here until you can control your reiatsu!"

I don't wait for a reply. I cannot allow her to go home where she will be in danger. She has to remain here until she has proper control over her reiatsu. Even then she can't be alone. Though she should be safe here, it's not like I'm going anywhere. I'll keep her safe even if she hates me.

I'm far enough now that my own training shouldn't affect her. I leave my gigai and unsheathe my Zanpakutou. If Tatsuki remains this weak I'm going to have to be a lot stronger to protect her. I just hope she'll let me. Another sigh escapes me as I begin my own training.

I know with only this distance I won't be able to use my Shi-Kai. But if I go any further I won't make it back in time if something happens. This will have to do. Though how much stronger will I be able to get if I constantly have to restrain myself? If something happens I'll have to use my Shi-Kai. If that happens and Tatsuki's near me my reiatsu alone might kill her.

I let my reiatsu raise enough so she should feel it from where she was. I'll slowly let it rise so she can adjust to it. Slowly it got higher as I paid close attention to Tatsuki's own reiatsu, which had picked up again. I smile a little. She's being defensive again. "And she claims it's not Orihime."

I push higher now, as I could feel Tatsuki's presence begin to wither once more before disappearing. My eyes widen. Don't tell me.

I run back with my Zanpakutou still in hand. They better be alright. If their not… it's my fault for leaving their side. Oh, why did I think this was a good idea? Why did I have to go so far? How could anyone even get in here unnoticed?

I slowed to a stop and looked around frantically. They should be around here somewhere but I don't see them. I ready myself for anything. I can't sense anything at all. A cold chill runs down my spine. Fear sinks into my being. The fear is so intense it is almost like it's threatening to devour me. Could this be the fear Tatsuki feels? If it is that means…. "Sode no Shira-"

"Rukia, is everything alright?" A soft voice called from behind me.

I turn frantically. Orihime is standing there giving me a worried look while Tatsuki is standing next to her bearing the same hurt look as before. She still won't meet my eyes. I must have hurt her terribly. "Are the two of you alright?"

Orihime nodded with a smile before looking over to Tatsuki and giving her a nudge. "I'm going to go have tea with Urahara." Orihime said brightly. "You two continue with your training."

Orihime walked off leaving an awkward situation between me and Tatsuki, whose eyes drifted to the ground. She definitely hates me now. Would an apology even do anything? I might as well try. "Tatsuki, I'm sorry if I took things too far. I was trying to get you angry so your reiatsu would rise and-"

"I'm ready, so I'll do what ever you want me to." Tatsuki said completely ignoring me. "I want to be stronger. I don't want to rely on _that_ person again."

"I understand, but I would appreciate it if you would let me fin-"

"Are you still here Rukia, or did you leave again?" Tatsuki's voice shook as she spoke.

"What are you-" I broke off. She couldn't see me right now. I was practically talking to myself right now. It's no wonder she kept interrupting me. She didn't even know I was talking. I walk over to her sheathing my Zanpakutou. I grab her by the arm. "Come on."

She puts up a mild fight before giving in. I feel guilt build up in me as I pull her along. We both remain silent, she has nothing to say to me and I, though I need to apologize, don't want to waste my time in speech that will fall on deaf ears. We continue to my gigai in awkward silence.

Upon arrival I released her arm and went straight for my gigai. I stop in front of my gigai for a moment looking back at her. She needs to be able to see soul reapers in case of an emergency. I turn and walk towards her pulling out my spirit glove. "Rukia, are you still he-"

I cut her off by removing her spirit from her body. Her spirit is knocked back and both her spirit and body falls to the ground. I stand over her as she begins to open her eyes. She sits up in a hurry. "What happened?"

"You're spirit has been separated from your body." I say simply.

"I'm dead?" Tatsuki said frantically. "What happened?"

"You're not dead. I simply separated your spirit from your body. This will make things easier for you. If a situation occurs, it would be better for you to have the ability to see soul reapers." I said bluntly. "You can return to you body whenever you want. However, I want you to remain in this state for the time being. You will get used to everything your feeling right now in a moment."

She nodded and looked away. I sat next to her and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean what I said. It was just to get you angry so you would raise your reiatsu."

"Its fine, I'm not mad anymore. It's just-" She broke off.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and she stiffened slightly. "Are you alright, Tatsuki?"

She nodded slowly as she blushed again. A smile grew on my face. "Have you told her?"

She shook her head and muttered; "I can't say it. I don't even know how to start. I don't even think I'll be accepted."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked with a kind voice.

She shook her head as her gaze moved further away from me. I let out a sigh, she undoubtedly hates me. "Tatsuki, are you ready to continue?"

She nodded and returns to a meditational pose. I let out a chuckle and stand up. "We're done with that. It won't work your too distracted. We're going to try a different approach. First of all you need to get over your distractions. You need to let go of your feelings."

"I can't do that." Tatsuki said quietly.

"It's just a simple crush and you said it yourself, there's little chance that you're feelings will be accepted. What's the point in putting yourself through all this when you will just get rejected anyways?"

"It's not just a simple crush." She muttered. "It's much more then that. If it were only a crush all of this would be a lot easier. But it's not."

"How much of a chance do you think you have?" Tatsuki shrugged and I let out another sigh. "Okay, then how about you stop letting these feeling stop you and use them to your advantage. Do it to make her proud of you."

Tatsuki met my eyes and I offered a smile. She smiled back at me. Maybe she doesn't hate me as much as I thought. "Alright," Confidence boomed in her voice. "I'll definitely make her proud of me."

"So it is a girl then." I say slyly.

She turns beat red and looks away at the realization that she had confirmed a gender for the first time. "So what if it is?" She said defensively letting her reiatsu pick up. "There's nothing wrong with it."

I want to encourage her to keep up her reiatsu but it won't make anything improve. I just have to keep baiting her. "That's your opinion. What about everyone else? What will they think? What will she think?"

I can feel her reiatsu weaken like before. I'm about to shout at her to keep it up when it picks up once more. "It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." She says arrogantly as a smile forms on my face. "I'm doing this to pay her back for before. Besides, I know I've already made an impression and she hasn't rejected me either."

"That's how she reacts now but when she finds out who you are really after then what?" Point blank. She hadn't even considered that one. Her reiatsu flared even higher. My smile remains on my face. "Can you feel it now?"

Tatsuki stops and looks at her hands. She can feel it. "Let go of your anger but keep your reiatsu flowing. Right now it only reacts to strong emotion. That's why your feelings have been affecting your training. You feared these emotions. But you faced them and now you have control."

She looked at me with eyes filled with pride. "This feels amazing. I never knew I had this in me."

I let her enjoy this new feeling while she could. Now that she knows what it feels like it will be easier to restrain it. But she also needs to learn how to do that. "Now try to restrain it but don't lose it completely."

She nodded and took a deep breath to relax herself. It faded but still I could easily sense its presence. "Is that good or more?"

"It's fine for now. Bring it up again." I watched as she did it with ease. "Excellent, how high can you go?"

She concentrates and lets her reiatsu flow freely. It's impressive for a human but still too weak. She can't fight. She will still have to rely on others to protect her. I can already see the strain this is putting on her. "Good now restrain it completely. I don't want to sense a single drop of reiatsu from you."

She complied almost immediately as she wiped sweat from her brow. She looked at me and panted through a cocky yet proud smile. I smiled back at her. "That's good. Bring it up once more."

It took her some time but she got it up again. Letting it rise slowly before stopping it. "How high do you want it?"

"That's fine. Now suppress it completely. We're done for today. You can return to your body." I said.

"Rukia, I want to keep going. I want to have full control. I want to be stronger." Her voice held so much determination.

"You may have misunderstood what we're trying to accomplish here. We're trying to hide you. Not give you the strength to put you in danger." I say calmly. "I know you don't want to rely on others but for the time being you have to. You can't get stronger over night. You need to let us help you for the time being. But I promise that I will train you. I will make you stronger."

"This isn't enough." She said raising her voice but not her reiatsu.

"I know but you've already pushed yourself enough for tonight. You got the crash course on controlling your reiatsu. It normally takes weeks to be able to do what you just did. You have reached your limit for today." It doesn't look like she's listening. "I'm sure the girl you like will be proud of you when she learns about this. I know I'm proud of you for this accomplishment."

Tatsuki's face brightened at this. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, go tell her. But I'm serious about your training as well. I want you to relax for the rest of the day. I'll have a room set up for you here. We'll pick up were we left off first thing tomorrow."

"All right, I swear I'll get stronger." She seemed so excited now.

"Tell her that." I said with a smile. Despite her stubbornness and boyish appeal she has a cute side to her. She looks at her body with a confused look on her face. "If you wish to return to your body simply place your hand on it and you will return to it."

"Alright," Tatsuki got up and walked over to her body. She placed a hand on it reentering it instantly. She opened her eyes to see me standing over her again. The only difference this time was that I held out a hand to help her up and I had a smile on my face. I helped her up with ease. "What are you going to do now?"

"I plan on remaining down here to do my own training." I reply.

"Would it be alright if I watched?" she asked before quickly adding; "Even if I'm not doing anything I can still learn from you."

"Its fine, but my reiatsu might be too intense for you." I warn.

"What, you think who ever is after me will be as considerate?" She says sarcastically.

"That's true but…." I trail off letting my reiatsu flare up. She falls to her knees almost immediately before I restrain it completely. "It's too much for you to handle."

"I can handle it… I'll be fine." She pants.

"That was but a fraction of my reiatsu." I said. She looks up at me in shock. "If I had released all of it then you would be dead."

**- End Part 3 -**


	4. Push past your limits

**- Push Past Your Limits -**

Its night now and Tatsuki passed out long before she had hit the pillow. In the end she had stayed and watched my training but it had become too much for her. She had collapsed and I had carried her up here. Now she was panting excessively and was having cold sweats.

I remained in her room not because Orihime had returned home or because we still can't sense any threat to her or because of her current condition. It wasn't impulse or a sense of duty that made me stay by her side. She had called out in her sleep; 'Don't go.'

Tatsuki's words were pleading. As if she doesn't want to be alone. The fear of what was after her still clung to her. It was threatening her very existence. It was challenging her, a challenge she would have to face alone. Something no one could help her with. All we could do is encourage her to face it.

I glanced over at her. She showed sign of troubled dreams. Perhaps it was a nightmare of what was after her. A dream of a faceless enemy, the only knowledge you have of them is a name that is long forgotten. I shiver crawls down my spine. There is truly no worse of a nightmare then that, where the dream realm itself is your enemy. It was those dreams that made pain feel so real even after the dreamer has awoken.

I could feel her reiatsu begin to spike as she cried out in pain. I was by her side in an instant shaking her awake. She mutters uncomfortably before her eyes shoot open. She shoots up clutching her chest in pain. She couldn't get any words out.

"Are you alright, Tatsuki?" I'm surprised by the worry my voice holds. She looks over and offers a slow nod. I smile as kindly as possible despite my worry.

She begins to look better as I start to rub her back. I can see tears begin to form in her eyes. She wasn't ready to face her fears yet and won't be for a long time. What can I say to her now that will help? Is there anything I could even do?

"I'm fine now, thank you." Tatsuki muttered as she placed a shaking hand on her forehead.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask trying to be as kind as possible.

"It was horrible. Everything was dark." Fear rattled her voice like chains. "It was like the darkness itself spoke to me. It was calling to me. 'Come back, come back'. That's all it said. Over and over again it wouldn't stop. I've never been so afraid in my life. Then she was there. The girl I like was standing right in front of me. I asked her to help me. But she turned away and told me I was too weak for her. She left me there. That's when the darkness attacked me. It was screaming at me because I left them behind. I abandoned them."

She remained silent as tears fell down her face. I couldn't say anything to her. Nothing I could say would really help her right now. I continued to rub her back in hopes that it helped her. Finally her tears stopped. "Am I too weak?"

"Do you think you're weak?" She nodded. "Then let's go."

I got up and walked to the door before she called out; "Where are we going?"

I turn and look at her with a determined look. "We're going to overcome any weakness you think you may have."

I walked out of the room and could hear her scrambling to her feet to follow close behind me. She was so close to me she was practically clinging as we made our way down the hallway. It was quiet since no one was awake at this time of night.

I was wrong before. There is something we can do to help her face her fear. We can make her stronger. I'm going to make her ready for it. She will face her fears and she will destroy them. I _will_ make her stronger.

"I'll say this right now." I start as we approach the trapdoor that leads to the underground area. "I won't hold back. Your training will be very intense. If you can't handle it you will forever be a slave to your fear. You will always think you are as weak as your fear tells you."

She nodded in agreement before we went down the ladder. It was a long trip down but we eventually made it to the bottom. Why Urahara built this area so deep and why he didn't include stairs was a mystery. We walked quite a ways in before stopping. I left my gigai in silence and dragged it to the side so it won't get in the way.

"What's after you isn't human. So it wouldn't make sense for me to do this in a gigai." I explained as I set my Zanpakutou beside my gigai. "In this form I have abilities that you do not. However when I am in my gigai I can't properly prepare you to defend yourself from something that doesn't have a physical body."

I paused to let it sink in or for her to ask any questions. When none came I continued. "The enemy will not give you a handicap so I won't either. I am not expecting you to have the ability to dodge or block my Zanpakutou. Therefore we will start with hand to hand combat. Do you have any questions?"

"No. Give me your best shot." She said picking up a fighting pose.

I know hand to hand combat isn't my style. But growing up in the Rukongai I have some knowledge of this style. It won't be enough against Tatsuki's knowledge but I know I'm faster. But the point of this exercise is for her to become faster and to be able to read attacks better. If she can do that then she'll have a better chance to dodge any attack.

I charge at her knowing if this were a serious fight it would be one of the biggest mistakes. She brings up her guard as I throw an open hand punch at her face. She predictably catches my wrist. I smirk as my other hand makes contact with her side.

She barely reacts as she turns me around and pushes me away. I stumble a few feet before regaining myself. How naïve, she thinks I won't actually hurt her. Her naïve thinking won't last long. I won't let it last past my next attack.

I turn and charge at her again. I threw many punches and pulled kicks at her not giving her the chance to catch me, nor did I give her the chance to counter. Every now and then I would get a hit in. Tatsuki had resorted in falling back. Soon her back would be against a wall and her defenses would be limited.

Tatsuki must have known her position because she jumped to the side to dodge an attack before she launched her own attack on me. I had her now. She threw a punch aimed at my face. I countered it easily. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her forward making her lose her balance. I smashed the palm of my hand into her chin as I released her arm.

She went flying back but didn't fall nor did her eyes leave me. She has good concentration at least. She caught herself and went on the attack this time. I dodged as many attacks as I could. Most I had to block but she got a lot through. Her punches were still pulled. I smiled as I found an opening.

I swung my leg at her side. She noticed and caught it before I made contact. She delivered a hard punch to my face. There was no restraint in that attack. She released my leg and let me stumble backwards before she came after me again. Her attacks had picked up in speed and strength. She was no longer holding back. This is good.

I throw in a punch to the face which she blocks giving me the chance to jump back and put some distance between us. I motioned her forward as she wiped sweat from her face. Blood began to trickle down my lip from her attack. She came at me but was once again holding back her attacks. They were slow and almost seemed to be forced.

I threw a light punch and it connected easily with her face. She stumbled back and stopped. Her guard was dropped and she looked as if she was in pain. I dropped my guard. She was done. "I didn't hurt you too much did I?"

She shook her head. "I don't think this will work."

"What do you mean?" I asked angered at her change of heart.

"I can't do this." She answered. "I'd rather be weak then do this. I'd rather be hated then fight you."

"I thought you wanted to be stronger but its okay. You can hide behind me whenever you get scared." I said a bit sarcastically.

"You'd still do that? You would still protect me even if I am this pathetic?" She asked.

"Of course, but your strong enough so that you don't need me to do that." I said reassuringly even though it was a lie.

"The problem doesn't lie with her strength, Rukia. It lies deeper then that." A deep voice said.

I looked over and saw a black cat sitting on a rock watching us. "Yoruichi, I didn't know you were back already."

"Yes, I'm afraid there isn't much in the records on Anemone." Yoruichi said. "However, I did find out that there leader went on her own to fight Soul Society during the night and was slain. It was shortly after this that the rest of the clan was publicly executed."

"Did that cat just talk?" Tatsuki asked.

"Does that surprise you?" Yoruichi said calmly.

"Yoruichi about Tatsuki's training. What did you mean the problem doesn't lie in her strength?" I asked though I had a good feeling I knew what the problem was. Tatsuki is the one that needs to hear it.

"It's simple, her resolve is weak. She cannot hurt anyone close to her." Yoruichi said bluntly.

I could almost feel Tatsuki's anger build up. To call her weak is a major insult. Though the truth is she is far from weak. She just needs some time and more confidence in her abilities and she will be ready to face almost anything. Already she could take on an average hollow and probably win if she were only a bit faster.

"What can I do?" Tatsuki said.

I looked over at her. How often does she change her mind? "I'll train you."

"Wait, Yoruichi. Is that wise?" I asked with growing concern. "She might not be able-"

"I want to do it." Tatsuki said cutting me off. "I don't know how a cat could train me but I'm ready for anything."

I could hear Yoruichi chuckle. I watched as the cat jumped off the rock and transformed into the dark beauty that she was. Tatsuki made a startled noise which may have been more from the fact that Yoruichi was not wearing clothes then from the transformation itself.

"Could you at least put some clothes on first?" I asked placing my hand on my face.

"Why? Clothes are so restricting. Beside we're all girls' right." Yoruichi complained. "Or is it your jealous of my figure. You certainly lack in bust Rukia, not to mention height and figure."

My face flushes with anger. "What's wrong with not having a perfect figure?" Tatsuki snapped. "Rukia's fine the way she is."

I look over at Tatsuki to see her face become bright red with embarrassment. Yoruichi laughed loudly at Tatsuki's reaction. "I'll return shortly."

I could sense Yoruichi take her leave. Tatsuki looked over at me with a horrified look on her face. I offered a slight chuckle "Thank you for sticking up for me. You're a good friend, Tatsuki."

Tatsuki smiled yet she seemed distant. "It doesn't bother you?"

"Why would something like that bother me?" I asked.

"Well," She started. "Never mind it's nothing."

I let out a sigh. "You know, you need to be more honest with yourself."

She looked away as her blush deepened. "Well, I-"

I gave her an odd look. "Yes?"

"I-uh" She stuttered. "I…"

"Just spit it out!" I snapped.

She winced at my tone before looking back over at me. Our eyes met. "I like you, Rukia."

"I like you too, Tatsuki." I say kindly.

She shook her head. "Not like that, like I love you. That kind of 'like'. I think you're beautiful, graceful, and strong. I want to be with you. I want to get strong with you. I don't want you to protect me anymore. I want to fight along side you not behind you."

"That's enough." I said quickly. "Yoruichi will be here any moment. We'll discuss this later. I promise, alright?"

She nodded with a hurt look on her face. Her confession shocked me. I didn't know what to say to her. How could I even respond to that? I barely even know her. Do I even harbor feeling for her? No, I couldn't she's just a human.

Just a human, that's not quite right. She is human yes, but she has some spiritual awareness and she is a skilled fighter. But that won't change the fact that I am a soul reaper and she is a human. I could relate to the pain she felt though. She held a love that couldn't be returned. A sad situation to be in especially if you believe something could happen.

I could sense Yoruichi's return. I turned and walked back to my gigai. My lip had stopped bleeding and the blood had become sludgy. I wiped it off with my hand as Yoruichi discussed with Tatsuki about how her training would go. It would be far more intense then my training would have been.

I know this will start bad Tatsuki is distracted even more now then before. She had confessed and I didn't even give her an answer. I told her to stop talking. This must be hard for her. No answer is even worse then a rejection. This gave her a glimmer of hope. A hope that will be extinguished harshly when we talk about this.

I sat against a rock. Perhaps I should think of a way to tell her nicely. Though a nice conclusion is probably not possible even if I could return her feelings, we could never be. She is alive, I am dead. There is no way we could be.

I let out a sigh and close my eyes. Sleep falls onto me and I dream of a time long past. I dream of a love I had mercifully almost forgotten. Shiba Kaien. He was married when I met him and loved him and he was married still when I killed him. He had thanked me for it even though it was something I wish more then anything that I could take back. That it were me that the hollow possessed. That it were me that had died on that fateful night. That horrible painful night when I closed my heart to the emotion called 'love'.

**- End Part 4 -**


	5. Don't look back

**- Don't Look Back -**

I woke to my name being called. Yoruichi stood above me. She didn't look it but her eyes showed their tire. I must have been sleeping for a long time. The training had ended and it was likely already dawn. "Tatsuki left to get some rest before she goes to school. You should return to bed as well."

"No, I've rested enough. I need to get to my own training." I said. "I didn't have a chance against them last time. I don't want that to happen next time. I know they won't keep me alive."

"Very well, do you want a sparring partner?" Yoruichi asked.

"It's alright. You should be tired as well. I need to train on my own anyways." I said kindly.

"You shouldn't over do yourself. You need your rest as well." Yoruichi said before disappearing.

I picked up my Zanpakutou and got up. I let out a sigh and sent the words Tatsuki had said to the back of my thoughts. It was an unnecessary distraction that would only hold me back. It held me back when I was training with Kaien and it will hold me back now. Tatsuki should have learned that today as well.

I slid my Zanpakutou under my sash before unsheathing it. "Dance; Sode no Shirayuki"

My Zanpakutou transformed instantly. I knew I had little time to train with my Shi-Kai so I need to make the most of it. I quickly moved away from my gigai so it wouldn't get damaged as I trained. When I was far enough I would work on the first dance. If I could increase the diameter of the circle or even the length that everything remains frozen that would be enough for now.

I stopped in my tracks and glanced back. Still too close if I want to improve myself. I travel a little further and glance back once more. This should be more than enough. I pick up my stance and take a deep breath. _Help me get stronger._ I release my breath. "Some no Mai, Tsukishiro."

I felt the cool of the moisture around me freeze into ice. The ground around me froze. I marveled in the cold but it was still not enough. I need full mastery of the first dance before I can even begin to learn the basics of the second dance and I was still far from mastering this. It would help if I had someone to help me but that person is long gone.

I will master the first dance. "Some no Mai, Tsukishiro."

Any moisture left around me froze. The circle had expanded a little but the cause of that may be due to the lack of moisture in the air. I glanced back at my gigai. The ice was still far from it but that wasn't what caught my eye. Tatsuki was collapsed just outside the circle.

My eyes widened in fear. I hadn't even sensed her presence at all. I sealed my Zanpakutou and sheathed it before running to her side. She wasn't moving. Fear and pain grew inside me as I got close to her. I was so close yet so very far away from her. How could this have happened? How was I so foolish that I hadn't even realized her presence?

I skid to a stop by her side and was immediately crouched over her. I flipped her over. Relief eased the pain inside me as I heard her heavy breathing. She was still alive at least. I suppressed any reiatsu that lingered from me as I lifted her head and placed it on my legs. This should be more comfortable for her. It was the least I could do.

I told her my reiatsu could kill her. What was she thinking coming down here? She should be resting not chasing some foolish dream. The pain returned in me as I realized how all of this was my fault. I had done this. I gave her hope in a love that will forever be unrequited. I should have just told her things wouldn't work. I couldn't be the one by her side.

I had delayed our conflict and because of that she came here for an answer. Now this had happened. Tears welled in my eyes as guilt overpowered my conscious. "Don't make that face, it doesn't suit you."

Tatsuki had awakened. "You fool. Why did you come down here? Why couldn't you wait for us to talk about this?"

"That's not why I'm here." Her voice was so weak. "I came down here because I wanted to be with you. That's enough for me right now."

"You fool." I repeated. "Don't do this to yourself you should be resting right now."

"I couldn't. Not when I know you're down here doing all this for my sake." She muttered. "I told you before. I want to get stronger _with_ you. I want to be by your side"

I shook my head. How could she be so foolish? The gap in our strength was too great for her to handle. I told her that this would happen I even showed her the effect of being around someone who had much more reiatsu then her. She should have known not to come down here when I was training.

She looked up at me with a hurt expression. I was putting her through so much pain right now. I hate having to do this, especially to someone in her position. I don't even know if I should continue to give her hope for the time being or just deny her right now to save herself from the pain. "Your so beautiful, Rukia."

"That's enough." I said without thinking. "Don't talk about this anymore. I- I don't want to hear it."

Tears formed in her eyes. She held so much pain in her heart at this moment. I hated being here even more than I hated doing this. I just wanted to leave but I had to take responsibility for my actions. I can't just leave her here. Not like this. I can't even give her my reasons for not returning her feelings. She won't understand. How could she?

"I'm sorry." Her voice shook with an oncoming sob. "I just…"

I cut her off with another shake of my head. "Don't make this any harder on yourself."

She began to cry on my lap. I could feel my own tears well up once more. I tried to hide them from her. I didn't need her to see me in a moment of weakness. I know she won't be able to forgive me for this. But this is for the best.

Her tears began to fade slowly. I felt horrible as I wiped the last of her tears away. She avoided looking at me again as I did so. "I'm sorry, Tatsuki. We just can't be together. I can't harbor any feelings towards you and even if I could, I wouldn't be able to remain by your side forever. I would have to leave."

She remained silent for a moment. "Would it be alright if I stayed by your side until that time comes."

"Of course it's alright." I say as warmly as possible. I'm amazed she still wants to be anywhere close to me. "I don't know how long I will be here, but I promise I will be here until you are safe."

"Thank you." Her voice remained fragile as if tears still threatened to surface. "Rukia, do you mind if I stay like this for a while?"

"That's fine." I said. I know she wants to be as close as possible right now because she won't have another chance. We both know that. If we get too close she won't be able to let go or move on. "Do you want to miss school again?"

She nodded. I don't blame her. The last thing she needs is to be around a bunch of happy people. "How about we pick up where we left off last night after breakfast? You can show me much stronger you have become."

She doesn't respond. I don't know how to cheer her up. She had been so excited about her training before. But was that simply because I was the one training her? Now she had Yoruichi to train her and no one to brag to. I've put her in a horrible place. I should have just gone along with it for the time being or just continued to not give her an answer.

I felt as though I had betrayed her with my honesty. "I am truly sorry about this, Tatsuki. You are a great person and a great friend but in the end you are a human and I am not."

"How are you not human?" She still didn't know.

"I'm a soul reaper. All soul reapers, with the exception of Ichigo, are dead." I summarized. "I've been dead for a very long time Tatsuki. That why this won't work."

"So if I were dead then-"

"Tatsuki, don't ever say that!" I snap at her. "How many people would be sad if you died? How would they feel if they knew you died so you could be with a long dead soul? You would die for nothing."

Tatsuki became silent once more as a tear rolled down her cheek. I caught it and tried to smile but to no avail. She was too hurt now. "Do you want me to go get Orihime?"

"I don't know what I want anymore. I don't want to be alone but I don't want to see anyone." She hesitated. "I don't want to see you right now but I still can't leave your side."

"I understand." I said. "I know what you're going through."

"How could you understand?" Tatsuki said angrily before snapping. "You don't feel anything. How could you even know what any of this even feels like?"

She sat up and turned to face me. Any sorrow she held had been replaced with anger. Her eyes searched me for an answer or any other reason for her to yell at me. "I too fell in love with someone I could never be with. This was hundreds of years ago. That man is dead now. He died by my hand."

I could see and feel all the anger she held fade away from her. She looked away. I could tell she felt ashamed of herself for her outburst. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's all right." I said though my voice held some bitterness. Telling her had made images of that night flash in my head again. I relived everything in an instant. That night would haunt me for the rest of my life.

I stood and walked over to my gigai. The very sight of it fuels my anger towards myself. I didn't want to see it. It looks just like Kaien's killer. I stared down at it with a horrid loathing before using shunpo to get as far away from it as I could.

Though it's not the only reason for my leave, I was also fleeing from Tatsuki. I couldn't face her after that and with all the anger I felt now. I knew I would lash out at her. She doesn't deserve it, it wasn't her fault that things ended up this way. It just goes to show that no good would come out of her feelings.

I want to scream out in anger right now but what would that accomplish? Tears rolled down my cheeks without mercy. How did things come to this? Every time someone gets close to me they always have to go through so much pain. I'm not worth it. I shouldn't be here. I should have died that night not Kaien. He should be alive and so should his wife.

I collapsed to my knees and sobbed as I clutched my upper arms as hard as I could. I would cry until there were no more tears then I would go and apologize to Tatsuki for my behavior. She must be even more hurt right now. Why do I keep doing these things to people? They don't deserve it.

I should just shut everyone out. Never let anyone get too close. It would be for the best. Then I wouldn't hurt anyone anymore. No one would ever have to shed tears or blood for me ever again. It's for the best. With all the things I have done I don't deserve any ones kindness not to mention their love.

I picked myself up as my tears faded. Anger and hatred still raged a war inside me as I walked back. I knew my gigai would be the only thing there and that was just fine. I have made my decision.

There will be no more kindness and no more sorrow. No one will ever she tears for me ever again. No one will have to fight for me and no one will have to die for me. Never again will I be the cause of someones pain.

**- End Part 5 –**


	6. Never give up

**- Never Give Up -**

I sat quietly as I ate breakfast. Urahara was eating across from me at the small table. It seems as though he sensed my change since he remained quiet the whole time. I noticed Tatsuki had already left. She was probably too hurt to remain here. I felt a twinge of guilt where her presence was supposed to be.

I quickly cast it aside. It was a useless emotion. A simple distraction like that would get me killed. I would continue my days as I should have done to begin with. No more living a human life. It was time to act as I should. I am a soul reaper not a human. I left the room in silence. Urahara let out a sigh but didn't stop me as he muttered under his breath.

Outside Jinta and Ururu were sweeping in front of the shop. I walked by them with out a glance. "Hey, Rukia," Ururu called after me. "Hang on a minute."

I turned and watched as the little girl came running after me. My voice was cold as I spoke; "What is it?"

She stopped and looked a little nervous. "What happened to your friend? She was crying when she left."

"I did something terrible to her." I said without losing the cold tone. "She'll be fine. Don't worry."

"Will you be okay, Rukia?" She asked politely.

"I'm fine." I said as Jinta walked over. "I need to leave."

I turned to go as Jinta hit Ururu on the head with a broom. "If you're fine then why are you crying?"

Instead of responding to Jinta's ridiculous claim I left the area using shunpo. I came to a stop on the roof of a building in the center of Karakura. I yawned as I searched the area for any signs of a hollow.

The town was still quiet. There was no trace of any hollows anywhere. I pulled my Zanpakutou out of my sash and sat down. I let out a sigh that was interrupted with a sharp gasp as a single tear rolled down my cheek. It was followed shortly by another and then another after that one. I had been crying this whole time without even realizing it.

So it wasn't just a ridiculous claim Jinta had made. It was quite accurate. Then that must also mean that Urahara hadn't remained silent from the change I had made to myself, but the tears that were in my eyes. Was all this really getting to me? No I'm simply just overworking myself. I should get more rest.

But with the Anemone threatening Tatsuki I can't do that until all this is over. When will this all go away? I don't want to be in this town any longer. I just want this to end so I can return to Soul Society and transfer to a new town. I never want to come back here.

I let out another sigh, one that wasn't interrupted by tears. I lay back and relaxed closing my eyes for a moment. My last conversation I had with Tatsuki played out in my mind. I saw all the pain I caused her as if it had its own dark aura. Her sobs were louder than before. When she cried, tears didn't form in her eyes and drip down her face like they should. Instead it was blood. There was so much blood coming out of her and not just from her eyes. Blood came from anywhere possible. Her mouth, her nose, and from dozens of wounds some of which even looked self inflicted. The main one was from where my Zanpakutou protruded out. Tatsuki was hunched over me. My Zanpakutou was in hand and through her heart. She thanks me as it begins to rain. The surroundings change from a large dark room to a dark forest. Her image changes and it is no longer her I am stabbing. Kaien is in front of me now as he thanks me for what I've done.

My eyes snap open and I sit up panting heavily. Tears stream down my cheeks. Why is this bothering me so much? Why can't my mind just let it all go? There is nothing I can do about any of it. Will I forever be cursed to carry the burden of another's pain? It's not fair. Why me? Why do I have to go through this? Has everything I've done in the past been that bad that it needs to haunt me even now?

I had to do the things that I did. If I hadn't I wouldn't be here today. But then with all the things I put people through maybe that would be for the best.

It seems I can't stay here any longer then I already have. I will just cause more pain for everyone around me.

I stand up and look over the town once more, it was now dyed a bloody orange by the sunset. I should at least try to apologize to Tatsuki before leaving. I don't know where she lives and I can't sense her presence at all so I'll have to go to Orihime's. She's probably over there anyways.

I jumped off the building and continued on by air. I need as much time as possible to come up with a good apology. I have once again betrayed her. How many times can one person betray another in one day, and to do it so cruelly as well, I truly do despise myself more then anything.

It wasn't as far as I thought it would be. I had no time to plan anything. Although nothing would come to mind anyways, I would just have to get in, out, and as far away as possible and as fast as I possibly could.

A light was on in her living room. At least I think that's her living room. Oh well, it doesn't matter that window is my entrance. I jumped to it and slid it open as quietly as possible. I pushed the curtains over climbed in silently. The living room was empty. The sound of sobs came from another room.

I followed them and came to a closed door. I placed my hand on it and hesitated. Perhaps now wasn't a good time to go in there. I placed my ear to the door. I could tell Tatsuki was crying in Orihime's arms right now. Orihime was comforting her, telling her everything would be alright.

I stepped away from the door and went back to the living room. I sat at the table and waited for them to come out. From the intensity of the sobs it would be awhile but at least that gave me time to think.

Tatsuki's sobs grew as the pain of all this grows inside me. My dream comes back to me making everything worse. The pain was unbearable. I could feel my own sob starting in my throat. It choked me as I tried to swallow it. I need to forget all of this. I need to- "What are you doing here, Rukia?"

I looked up. The sobs had stopped and Orihime stood in the doorway. She looked at me with anger in her eyes. So she knew what happened then. "I came to apologize."

"Tatsuki doesn't want to see you anymore." Her voice held so much bitterness.

"I understand. I'm only here to apologize to her." I say delicately as though my resolve would break if I was forceful. "After that I will leave. I won't be coming back here."

"Do you have any idea what you put her through?" Her voice was raised now. "Now you come here to apologize? You have no right to be near her."

"You're right." I stood to leave. "Can you tell her; I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my promise? Also tell everyone goodbye for me."

"You're running from everyone else as well?" Orihime said bitterly. "I never thought you were a coward."

"Good bye, Orihime." I unsheathed my Zanpakutou to open the Senkaimon. I hesitate as her final word sunk in. _Coward,_ it's the very reason I am weak. A part of me wants to confront her but the other just wants to run away. She's right I am a coward. Another tear rolls down my cheek.

"Aren't you going to run away?" The bitterness was slowly leaving her voice. "Don't you want to leave everyone behind?"

"That's not what I want at all." My words betray me. "It's for the best. I can't live a human life."

"Why not? Or are you going to tell me it's because Soul Society doesn't approve. Who cares what they think, make yourself happy. Live your life the way you want to not the way they want you to."

She was right. But to rebel against Soul Society like that would disgrace my name and they would likely execute me. "It's not so simple, Orihime."

"When is anything ever simple? You have to make things happen for yourself. They won't just come in like orders do." I turn to face her. "You need to live for yourself too. Not just for Soul Society."

Tears rolled down my face once more. She was right but that didn't make it possible to do. I have sworn myself to the Gotei 13. To back out is death. You can't just resign nor can you do what they disapprove of. "I'm sorry. As right as you are, things just don't work that way in Soul Society. It's different from the way things work in the human world."

Again I turn to leave. I begin to open the Senkaimon when I hear a scream. My eyes widen and I turn to run towards the bedroom. Orihime is there before me shouting; "Leave her alone!"

I enter the room and see a cloaked figure wearing a bauta mask pulling Tatsuki to a soul gate.* I move in front of Orihime ready to attack the figure. "Let her go!"

'_Good bye soul reaper.' _The cold voice spoke into my mind once more as it went through to soul gate. It started to close slowly.

I grit my teeth in anger. "Like hell you're getting away."

I grabbed Orihime and pulled her though the gate before it was too small for us to enter. It was dark on the other side. I released Orihime's arm and we travelled through this new dimension. This was not the dagai. This was something else entirely. What ever lay in wait on the other side was something we had never come across before. "Rukia, I'm sorry about before."

"It's fine. If you hadn't confronted me like that I wouldn't be here right now. Thank you for yelling at me."

"I'm the one who should be thanking you." She said quietly. "I was too scared to do anything. If you hadn't pulled me in with you I wouldn't have made it."

"You said it yourself though, Tatsuki doesn't want to see me anymore. I can't be there for her, only you can." I glanced over at her. "All I can do for her now is fight. You're the one that has to save her. I'll get you to her and I'll get both of you out. But you're the one that has to save her."

"It will mean the world to her when she sees you here." Orihime said kindly.

"Not after what I did to her." I could feel another sob threaten me but I forced it away. I can't afford any weakness now. I had to have enough strength for both Orihime and Tatsuki. "I shouldn't be here at all. I have no place by her side."

"You do, Rukia. You just haven't found it yet." Her words somehow calmed me and gave me courage to see this through.

I picked up my pace. "We need to hurry. I have a really bad feeling about this."

We hurried along in silence. The cloaked figure was already long gone. I gripped the hilt of my Zanpakutou tightly. I was ready for anything that was to come. I may not be strong enough but I won't stop until Tatsuki is safe. "Sode no Shirayuki, lend me your strength."

"You have my strength as well, Rukia." Orihime said confidently. "I know I can't fight well but I'll do my best to protect and heal both you and Tatsuki. Even if you did hurt her and make her cry."

I looked over and saw how determined she was. "Thank you. That's more then enough."

We were reaching the end of the passage now. I could see the gate. We were so close yet we were still so far. As we approached the gate it began to close. We leapt through just in time as it closed behind us. I glanced back quickly. We may be stuck here. No matter, as long as we can stop what they are trying to do. That's all that matters right now. We'll worry about our escape later. When it comes down to it I probably won't be able to go with them.

We lack any strength for an assault. We'll have to sneak in to find Tatsuki and then I'll have to hold them off while they run. It's the only way they'll get through this. As long as they make it out it's fine with me. It doesn't matter if I die here.

We walked on in silence as I searched the area desperately for any trace of reiatsu but I couldn't sense anything. It was as if there was nothing here. "Rukia," Orihime sounded frightened "I can't sense anything here."

"Neither can I." My voice shook with disturbance. "It's like there is nothing here."

"Tatsuki is here though. I can feel her presence." Orihime said with confidence as she took the lead. "She's this way."

"Be careful. All we know about the enemy is what they call themselves and that they're all supposed to be dead."

"What are they?" She asked.

"They appear to have human form, but that's about all I could tell."

"I noticed that too. What are they called?" I could hear faint irritation in her voice. She's still upset with me.

"They call themselves 'Anemone'. They were once a noble clan in Soul Society a long time ago. I forget how long ago, but they rebelled against the Gotei 13 and the entire clan was executed." I summarized. "That's all I know."

"Does Ichigo know about any of this?" She asked.

I shook my head. She knew our chances of survival were slim as well. "We'll get through this. You need to believe in yourself more."

"I know but it would be nice to have more people here. I mean we don't even know what we're even up against. I don't want to fail Tatsuki." Her irritation was replaced with sorrow.

I place my hand on her shoulder. "Well make it through this. Both you and Tatsuki are a lot stronger then you think you are."

She smiles and her determination returns. "Let's hurry."

I nod with a smile and we begin to run. There is a structure ahead of us. It's what Orihime is running for so Tatsuki must be there. I pick up may pace as the guilt rises in me once more. I know this is my fault but there is nothing I can do about it now. All I have to do is get to that structure and get Tatsuki out of here. It's the only way to make things right between us. Nothing will stop me not even my own weakness.

The structure is close enough now that I can make out some details. It looks like an old stone shrine. It must have been here for centuries since the whole thing looks like it's about ready to collapse at any give minute. I won't be able to use my Shi-Kai in there. The whole thing might collapse on us. But if it comes to it, I'll take down the whole thing so Orihime and Tatsuki can escape. Orihime should be able to find a way out on her own.

An ominous chant fills the air as we get closer. It's an old language that I can't decipher. It sends chills down my spine as I slow to a stop. Orihime stops ahead of me and looks back. "Don't run away from this, Rukia. Tatsuki needs you."

"I'm not running away." I pant. "It wouldn't be wise to just run in out of breath and tired. We don't know what's in there. I want to be prepared for whatever it is."

She nodded and continued on at a slower pace. Our pace slowed even more as we neared the entrance. We had caught our breath and crept to the entrance. The chanting was much louder now. "Orihime, what ever happens do as I say alright?"

"Alright, let's go." I could tell she wasn't listening.

I grabbed her wrist. "Orihime, promise me you'll do as I say. No matter what happens in there."

"I promise, Rukia." She confirmed.

I went ahead of her ready to kill anything that stood in my way without mercy. In the back of my mind I wondered if Orihime had the same resolve I held right now. It was unlikely even if it was Tatsuki that was in danger. It will be very bad when we separate. She will be forced to kill.

We made our way in as quietly as possibly. The chanting echoed throughout the stone halls making it impossible to pinpoint where it was coming from. Orihime could no longer lead the way just give a general direction. This place was a maze that we were just getting even more lost in.

The chants stopped and a loud banging started followed by a pained scream. That scream came from Tatsuki. I looked over at Orihime. "How far is she?"

She looked to her left. "She should be on the other side of this wall."

I grabbed her by the arm and threw her aside. **"****Dominator! Mask of the flesh and blood. All living beings. Fluttering. That which has the name human!" I start the incantation. "Truth and Temperance! Slightly imbed your claws into the walls of innocent dreams. Destructive art 33! Blue Fire Fall!_"_**

My kidou spell hit the wall making it crumble away in a cloud of dust. I jumped trough finding myself in a large dark room. I could feel an ominous presence linger around me as eyes watched me. I picked up my guard as Orihime stumbled in after me coughing from all the dust. I stepped back to offer her some cover. I keep my eyes forward as I mumble "We're not alone in here."

"Tatsuki isn't here anymore. I can't sense her at all." She whispers.

Just how fast could they move? My eyes snapped to the center of the room. Something was moving. _"Have you come to witness the rebirth of Anemone?"_

**- End Part 6 -**

*_A bauta mask is a carnival mask used in Venice, Italy. Plain ones are all white and have a square jaw line often pointed and tilted upwards to enable the wearer to talk, eat and drink._


	7. Face your enemy head on

**- Face Your Enemy Head On -**

The room became cold as I walked forward. "Give Tatsuki back. She has nothing to do with this."

"_The one you call Tatsuki is no more."_ The muffled ice cold voice said. _"She has become one with us."_

Orihime remained silent beside me as I spoke for both of us. "Show yourself."

All was quiet. There were no more words from there side and no movements. Had they fled? No, if this was there rebirth then they wouldn't just up and leave. Not with an interrupted by their enemy. _"If you so wish to see your death as it happens, so be it."_

Torches lit along the walls but no one was near them to light them. My eyes narrowed as I saw a hooded figure on a pedestal in the center of the room. The pedestal itself was guarded by eight other hooded figures. They all looked the same save the on the pedestal. That one's mask wasn't a plain white bauta it was gold and red. That one was undoubtedly the leader. "I'm going to kill every last one of you."

I could sense the fear in Orihime as she stood beside me. She knew the seriousness that lay within my words. I stepped forward and felt Orihime grab the sleeve of my kimono. I didn't look at her. "Orihime, put up your shield and don't lower it until this is over."

Her grip tightened on me as I let my reiatsu flare. I watched the hooded figures as they shifted around nervously. "Orihime, let go and put up your shield!"

She hesitantly obliged. I didn't move until her shield was up. When it rose I wasted no time as I charged at them. I was ready to stand by my word. They were all going to die here.

At the last minute they unsheathed swords that were hidden by their cloaks. Unfortunately for them I was already expecting it. I blocked and dodged their attacks only getting small wounds here and there.

One lunged at me from the side. It was no use. I jumped back and cut him down instantly. I fought them all at once while there leader watched from above. Another one down, six are left. One catches me off guard stabbing me in the shoulder I winced but cut him down as his sword left me. It's down to five.

Not much longer. One strikes me from behind. I fall to one knee gasping in pain. They back off as the one that cut me makes their way around me. I was going to be beheaded. I already know I can't count on Orihime anymore.

I stare at him darkly as he raises his sword. He's wide open. I lunge at him stabbing him in the stomach as he falls to the ground. I twist the blade so the wound won't heal and he'll bleed to death. Ripping my Zanpakutou out of his body, I stand up and watch as the others quake in fear. "Four."

My voice is colder then ice. It shows my loathing at it's deepest. I use their fear to my advantage lunging at another one. He's too scared to move. I cut him down with ease. I look over at the other three. They attack me all at once. "It's useless."

They seemed to hesitate at my words. I used that to my advantage as well. When they swung their swords down at me I dived out of the way and killed the closest one to me. "Two."

One backed away while the other stood frozen in fear. I walked towards the one that had the sense to retreat. The other attacked as I got close. I swung my Zanpakutou with full force shattering his weapon. I gave him a quick glance before cutting him down as well. I looked at the last one who had stopped moving all together now. "One."

He yelped dropping his weapon and ran for his life. I used shunpo to cut him off. He tried to skid to a stop as my blade found his heart. I kicked him off my blade effortlessly and glared at their leader, who did nothing to help them. "Zero."

Their leader clapped effortlessly. _"I thank you, you saved me the trouble of dirtying my hands on them. I must applaud your endurance as well, you should be dead by now." _The leader jumped down from the pedestal._ "Yet here we are."_

He unsheathed his own weapon. _"I fear this battle will not last long. You are already inches from death."_

I ignored all words and charged. I won't die until Orihime and Tatsuki are safe. There is no way I'll let it happen. We swing our swords at each other. This one is different from the others. It's not as weak or fragile. It's a Zanpakutou. My eyes narrow and I attack again and again, sending my enemy on the defense.

It seems familiar somehow, like we've fought before. No, I can't dwell on questions. I'll do that once we've killed each other. There are no openings at all. It's a perfect defense. I keep my mind from trying to find a weakness. I haven't the time. If I let up I'll be cut down. _"Are you done?"_

My eyes widen as I'm thrown back by a swift kick to the stomach. I cough at the lack of air. Blood trickles down my chin as my body begins to slow down. Damn, not yet. Not now. A part of me wants to yell out to an invisible entity. I want to tell it to run away. I'm confused for an instant on why I would want to do that.

No more time to think. I have to defend myself. He attacks from the right. I block it. Damn, it got too close. I'm going to die. From the left this time. Our Zanpakutou meet again for an instant before they part. He brings his sword above his head, an opening. I take it, thrusting my Zanpakutou upward. If I could hit the base of his chin and run my blade to the top of his head this is all over.

He sees my attack and backs away. I was close, I broke his mask. He clutches his face and holds it towards the ground. It's the perfect opportunity to win this. I rush him. He looks up at the last minute and jumps back. He glares at me while still hiding his face. "Your luck has run out, soul reaper."

Without the mask muffling the voice it sounds a lot different. I stop in my tracks as he removes the hood and reveals….

"No," I take a step back with wide eyes. "No, that's not possible."

"Is it so hard to believe that the reincarnation of a long dead clan leader was so close to you all along?" The voice was unrecognizably cold and harsh. "Didn't you ever wonder why my clan never made a move? They had so many opportunities. I really must thank you. It was all you that made this possible. You that helped realize the true potential. It was you that made this all so easy. It was you that made this all so sweet, my little 'friend'. I'll be sure to make your death quick. If you last that long that is."

Fear grew inside me. Any question of survival I had left is gone. My hopes fled as the identity of the leader was revealed. Tatsuki stood before me ready to cut me down. I could feel all my adrenaline leaving my body as guilt took over bringing pain along with it. I felt so betrayed.

"Hah, so that what it felt like when I turned my back to you." I muttered as I stabbed my Zanpakutou into the ground for support. My breathing quickly turned into a mix of coughing and wheezes. Everything I did now hurt. I didn't have much time.

Tatsuki is gone. I know that, it's all like it was centuries ago. Every time any form of love enters my life someone involved dies. I smirk, looks like it's me this time. At least I'll be able to rest soon.

"It amuses me how much the two of you struggle for each other." She says coldly. "You struggle for her safety, and yet she struggles so you can get away."

"What?" The pain seems to fade at the news of Tatsuki still being in there.

"It seems she still harbors some idiotic emotions for you." She laughed like it was the stupidest thing in the world.

"Idiotic?" My voice raised and banished my pain allowing me to fight once more.

I pulled my Zanpakutou out of the ground and charged. I screamed as I swung my sword. Our swords locked. We glared at each other. I could faintly see fear in those eyes. It was Tatsuki. She was fighting for control. "You fool."

Pain returned to me as I slowly looked down. A short sword had been thrust through my stomach. This is it. I can do no more. Our eyes met once more as our blades left each other. Mine dropped to the ground while hers remained at her side. The short sword was still in me. A single tear rolled down her cheek. Any control this person had was at its weakest now.

This is my last chance to say anything to Tatsuki. Hopefully it will be Tatsuki that responds not who ever it is that's controlling her. I grab her by the neck of the cloak. It's the last thing I will do before I die.

"Tatsuki, I know you're in there. I want you to know that I'm sorry about everything and I've finally realized it." I could see the control wavering even more. I pulled her closer. Our lips met for the first and last time. I was getting dizzy from all the blood I had lost. We separate and I see that Tatsuki has full control now. "I'm sorry, it took so long for me to realize it. Tatsuki, I lo…."

Everything faded to black and I felt my body fall to the ground where I became weightless. There was nothing but a cold darkness that surrounded me. I smiled as the memories I had spent with Tatsuki flooded back to me. Despite what had happened I'm glad things ended the way they did. At least I was able to tell her my feelings even though it was too late. I wished I had realized it earlier so I could have spent some more time with her.

At least she is no longer in danger. As long as she has control of herself she should be fine. But how long will she have control for. She's really vulnerable right now. Tatsuki's probably already gone again. If she is she's probably gone for good. I can't imagine anyone else being able to get her back. Possibly Orihime if she could get close enough.

No, Tatsuki is gone now. She won't return. We both died back there. Her body may be alive but her soul has gone. The only question left for me is; now what?

I look around and see nothing but darkness. So this is what happens when you die a second time. This is where I will remain until I am reincarnated. If it's possible I would like to be by Tatsuki's side and this time I want to realize my feelings long before it's too late. I hope she'll wait for me. If I have to wait for her then I'll wait as long as it takes.

I can feel warmth. Was that it? Was that as long as I had to wait to reincarnate? Or am I going somewhere else? But where would that be?

Scenes from my previous life flooded back to me. Being abandoned when I was only a child to when I kissed Tatsuki and tried to tell her my love for her. Everything held so much detail. I couldn't tell if more of it was bad or good. Was I going to be reincarnated or sent to hell? I don't mind either way. I was able to die happy and that was enough for me.

There was a noise in the distance. I couldn't quite make it out. It came closer and yet still I could make no sense of it. I felt warmer now then I had in a long time. Does this mean I'm in hell? If so what am I hearing?

It came closer. I could just barely make it out now. It was sobbing. So this is it, then? That's not so bad. Just darkness and endless sobbing, well so much for the old superstition of fire and lava, I saw no little imps running around with any pitchforks either. Just alone with the endless sobs and nothing around but darkness… Oh. I look around. I guess this is pretty lonely.

The sobs grew louder and louder. Already I felt as though I couldn't take it. It sounds like someone is calling my name. But who would be calling out for me in this darkness?

I begin to feel heavy again. My muscles ache horribly and my body feels stiff. I can't move at all. Something clutches my hand like if it were to let go we would never again feel each others touch.*

There was a light.

**- End Part 7 -**

*_Imagine your hand is being crushed._


	8. Come back from the dark

**- Come Back From The Dark -**

_Rukia, come back. Don't leave._

A melancholic voice called out to me. The voice alone makes me want to cast death aside and find its owner.

_Rukia, please wake up. Don't leave me._

Screw death. I'm leaving to find that voice. I need it. It calms me and makes me feel a happiness that I had long forgotten. It brought love to my heart and melted the ice that had encased it for so long.

_I'm so sorry. Please forgive me._

There was a heavy smell of blood that lingered in the air around me. Something cold and wet was dripping on my face. Then something made contact with my lips. My eyes opened slowly. I felt the stiffness of the previous battle in my muscles and the tears that fell from Tatsuki's face as she kissed me. I closed my eyes and welcomed her kiss while wrapping a sore arm around her.

Our kiss deepened before she moved away. "Rukia, I'm so sorry I-"

"I love you, Tatsuki." I cut her off with a weak voice. "I'm sorry for making you wait on me. I didn't realize it until just recently. I've been so selfish. I never once considered your feelings."

"It's all right. You're here now, that's all that matters." Tatsuki said before looking to the side. "Thank you so much."

I followed her gaze and saw Orihime watching us with a very uncomfortable look mixed with horror. I had completely forgotten she was here. I had lost all sane thoughts during the fight. I moved Tatsuki away so I could sit up. What had I put Orihime through back there? I looked around and saw the true horror of my actions.

Blood was everywhere. It covered the ground, the walls, the pedestal, and my robes were drenched in my blood as well as theirs. Even Tatsuki had been tainted by it. Bodies lay scattered around the room as well. They were torn up brutally. Fear shook my entire being. Never in my life had I seen so much blood or a scene such as this. "What have I done?"

Orihime covered her mouth with a hand and looked away as Tatsuki's grip tightened on my hand. I looked at my free hand and saw blood from when I held my Zanpakutou so tightly. What had I become back there? Was that what I had been trying to accomplish when I shut out my feelings? Was I really trying to become that monster?

I feel sick. I can't be here. I need to get out. I need to get away from here before I throw up. I pull myself from Tatsuki's hand and force myself up. Tatsuki is up and beside me instantly trying to help in any way possible. I ignored her actions and staggered to the door. I need to leave this room right now.

I didn't make it too far before I threw up and lost consciousness. I relived the fight I had back there, only this time there as no adrenaline to take away the pain. I felt everything even the pain in my heart that I had overlooked throughout this whole time. I had ignored the feeling since it had started. I really was heartless before.

With all the pain I felt then, was that anywhere close to the pain I had inflicted on her. No, what I did there back there was nothing like what I did to her. It was far worse. I just hoped she wasn't able to see what I was doing at the time. I hope she didn't see the monster that I had become as I cut down all those people.

How could I have committed such a heinous act? Even if it was for the one I loved, I didn't leave anyone alive. I killed them all. Even the last one who tried to flee I had killed him without mercy and no sense of regret.

Even now, although I am deeply disgusted by it, I don't feel regret for what I have done to them. I truly feel they got what they deserved back there. My only regret in that fight was dirtying Tatsuki with their blood as well as my own. She should be free from that. She should not have to walk a blood stained life like I do. Her path should be clean and untainted.

I awoke to clean, bloodless air as the night sky loomed over me I was being carried on Tatsuki's back. I could faintly see the soul gate in the distance. How would I even open it? Or could I open the Senkaimon in here? It would be good if we could go to Soul Society and then travel back to the human world from there.

A smile crept across my face. I could show Tatsuki my home. My smile widened as I wrapped my arms around her chest and nuzzled my face into her neck. I can just see the look on her face when she sees it. "How are you feeling?"

Tatsuki was out of breath and tired. I can imagine all the strain her body has been under the past couple of days. "I'm fine now. I can walk."

She stopped so she could let me down. Our eyes met and we smiled at each other before our gaze distanced from each other. I looked towards the soul gate. There was still a long way to go. I look back at Tatsuki and see how exhausted she really is. "How are you holding up?"

"I don't know, but I want to get as far away from here as possible. I can't stay here." Her breathing wasn't getting any better. "I need to go home."

"I understand but I think you should rest for now." I said.

"No, I have-" She started.

"Tatsuki we need to rest. You're getting worse." Orihime spoke up. I looked over and noticed she was carrying my Zanpakutou. She probably didn't trust me with it now. "That woman is still trying to control you isn't she?"

What? I looked over at Tatsuki. She isn't gone? Now I could see the conflict she was having in her eyes.

"It's fine. I can handle it. Besides if I take a break I won't be able to control her." She kept going towards the gate. "It's not much farther now anyways. I can do this."

"Tatsuki, don't make me force you to stop." I said bluntly. She ignored me and kept walking. "I'm warning you. Just because I have feelings towards you does not mean I wont bind you body."

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face me. There was anger in her eyes. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Orihime raise her free hand to her hairpin. It wasn't Tatsuki right now. I was ready to fight. We were both unarmed and I knew I could read all the moves her body makes when it comes to hand to hand combat. We fought long enough last night for me to know that.

Although, Yoruichi had taken over her training so her body was most likely faster now. That was fine. I fought hollows that are much faster then Tatsuki will ever be. "You really are a fool, soul reaper."

I point at her with my index and middle finger. **"First restrain! Obstruction!"**

She immediately falls to her knees with her hands bound behind her back from my kidou. She shouldn't be able to move now. "Are you so willing to inflict damage on the one you claim to love, soul reaper?"

"Who are you?" I snap ignoring the question.

"I am Anemone." She replied simply. "I am a curse sent out to make all hope disappear."

"Why?" I interrogate.

"I want my revenge." She spat with hatred. "That bastard is responsible for the downfall of my entire clan. He spoke out of turn and was cast aside. Instead of taking his shame he started a damned war. He had forsaken my whole clan with his foolishness. My clan name was forsaken and destroyed while he still roams around like he was never even one of us." *

"Why now though, it's been over a thousand years?" I asked.

"Because that's how long it took for me to even get a chance at this. All this time and he slips up. I'll kill that fool."

"I cannot allow that. Not when your in that body." I said coolly.

"It doesn't matter, the human will be dead soon." She said coldly. "I don't plan on resting until that fool is dead. I'll destroy this body if I have to."

"Why can't you just leave Tatsuki alone?" Orihime asked. "She doesn't have anything to do with this."

"You speak as though we are different. You're 'Tatsuki' and I we are one. She is my reincarnation."

"Look, I don't give a damn about your revenge or your clan." I snapped at her. "I want you to leave Tatsuki out of it. You need to move on."

"I won't move on until he's dead. I finally have control of this body and I plan on using it. I don't care about your feelings."

"You're just like him then." Orihime said. "You'll sink to any length to regain your honor. You should be ashamed of yourself. You're the cause of all your clan members deaths back there."

"Those fools were never in the clan. They were our kidou specialists. That's why I was able to be resurrected so easily. Not to mention the help I had from our little 'friend' here." She eyed my coldly.

"What do you mean?" Orihime said taking a step away from me.

I was unfazed by this claim. It was the second time it was made after all. Though now my thoughts are sane. "All the training and hardships you placed on this body wore it out to the point of exhaustion. You knew the strain and yet you pushed on. Then you added emotional strain resulting in even more exhaustion not to mention when you separated the soul from the body making me even stronger. You made this body so easy to control. I truly cannot thank you enough."

"If you really want to thank me move on and forget your revenge. It was a thousand years ago. Spilling blood now because of this is pointless." I snapped. "Besides as you just said that body is weak. I pushed that body so much it is beyond repair. You wouldn't do anything but make a fool of yourself. You don't even have the strength to leave this place alive."

I could tell the longer this went on the more Orihime became worried and the less likely we would get Tatsuki back. But Tatsuki isn't strong enough to win this fight. For her to strain herself even more would not only destroy her body but it would very likely be fatal. We need to come to a conclusion fast before it's too late.

"You have no hope of accomplishing your goals. You might as well admit defeat and keep you pride. You claim to be of noble blood yet you have stooped as low as a dog." I said. Being in a noble house gave me the knowledge of how to deal with other nobles. If I played this right I could work it to my favor. "You claim to be doing this to reclaim your clan's lost honor. But by seeking revenge you have cast aside all honor and spat on it. You have become the one that is disgracing your clan's name."

She remained silent. Hopefully my words would have an effect on her. I could practically see Tatsuki dying in front of me. "You talk big soul reaper."

Tatsuki collapsed to the ground. Orihime rushed to her side. "Wait Orihime, don't get any closer yet."

Orihime stopped and watched her friend with worry, before going to Tatsuki's side. "She's back. I can feel it."

"Heal her quickly." I say. "If she shows signs of change then stop immediately."

Orihime nodded and got to work. I know she didn't need to hear it but I needed to say it. She laid my Zanpakutou on the ground next to her as she crouched down to heal Tatsuki. "Orihime, maybe it's best we don't leave any weapons around Tatsuki right now, just in case something happens."

She nodded and I went to retrieve it. She gave me a worried look as I did so. "I won't use it."

"I know. It's just that…" She trailed off. She didn't even want to think about what happened back there.

"I know. I wasn't myself back there." I said quietly. "Losing Tatsuki and not being able to do anything about it got to me more then I had realized at the time. When I heard her scream, it was in that very moment when I finally realized where my feelings laid. I lost myself with that feeling and I apologize. You shouldn't have had to see that."

"You may have to explain that to Tatsuki as well." Orihime's voice was quiet as well. "After you lost consciousness. She looked around the room. She was terrified."

"I don't blame her." I paused. "Orihime, did I die back there?"

She held a very sad face as she nodded slowly. "Tatsuki was right by your side the whole time as I tried to bring you back and heal your wounds. After your wounds healed you were only barely alive. Tatsuki kept calling to you. She kept calling you back."

"Yes," I said warmly. "I heard her calling to me. Both of you brought me back. I am very grateful to you two. If there is anything I can do to repay you don't hesitate to-"

"Don't make Tatsuki cry again." Orihime cut me off and gave me a stern look. "Treat her right."

I smile kindly. "I will. I'll even fight Soul Society if I have to."

Orihime's stern look fades and we share a smile. Her smile soon fades as she returns her gaze to Tatsuki. "Why did you push her so hard?"

"Like you said before, I'm a coward." Our eyes met again. "I was subconsciously running away from feelings I didn't even know I had. You were the first person to see that in me."

"You're wrong about that. Tatsuki talked to me about what happened between the two of you, remember? She said you mentioned something about an old love and disappeared without offering any explanation. She knew you were running from your past. She knew it was still hurting you."

"I suppose I will have to discuss it with her." I sigh. "I might not be soon. But I will eventually tell her about it. When I do she may understand my actions more. That night has always haunted me."

Orihime didn't respond. Our conversation was over and Tatsuki was still in really bad shape. She'll remain like that for a long time as well. I had pushed her way too hard. I'll make it up to her. I'll help her until she gets better. I won't leave her side until her body has recovered. After that I will still always be beside her. No matter what Soul Society thinks, I'd gladly give my life for her if I had to.

A sense of danger crept down my spine. I look over and see four more cloaked figures moving towards us. I turn to face them. Running would prove useless. We wouldn't be able to stay a head of them with Tatsuki in her current condition. "Orihime, bring up your shield and concentrate on healing Tatsuki. We can't lose her again. If we do we might lose her for good."

I unsheathed my Zanpakutou and walked towards them. I need to put enough distance between me and Orihime as possible. Not that I'll let even one get by me. They advance with great speed but I know I'm faster. I use shunpo to greet them with my own attack. The one I attack didn't see it coming.

I cut him with enough restraint to keep him from fighting any longer. If it were possible they would all leave here with their lives. If not, at least Orihime wasn't watching this time. My eyes narrowed as the others attacked me. I met their blades. I could feel their hesitation and fear through their attacks. I pushed them back and caught another one off guard.

His wound was deep. He may not live. One jumped back as the other attacked. Our blades met and parted in an instant. In that instant I sensed the bloodlust. He attacked relentlessly not letting up for a second. This one was much stronger then the others I had fought before. He might prove difficult.

His attacks never let up neither in speed nor strength. I could feel my arms shake with tire. My body still aches from my previous battle. This wasn't looking good if I couldn't attack then pretty soon I'd be against a wall. To be more precise my back would be against Orihime's shield.

I tripped over something behind me making me lose my balance. I fell to the ground. All my defenses were gone. My eyes widened with fear as my opponent readied for a finishing blow. I waited for it or a miracle of some kind. Orihime having the courage to attack him or Tatsuki finding the strength to protect me, any action was welcome. The blade came down upon me.

**- End Part 8-**

* _Nothing said about Anemone will add up._ _Not because I'm forgetful but for the sake of leaving them a mystery and for you, the reader to question what you're reading. To quote a movie (Serenity); 'Half of writing history is hiding the truth'. Clearly stating the truth is hidden._


	9. Run to the gate

**- Run To The Gate -**

The blade stopped just inches from my face. He looked over his shoulder. Another blade had pierced through him. It had run through his heart. "You traitor…."

The blade left him and he was thrown aside as I jumped to my feet. "You fight well, soul reaper. You even managed a good defense against, Ryugo. Not many of our worriers can manage that."

I picked up my defense. I didn't trust her even if she had just saved me. "Why save me?"

"Not too long ago there was a slaughter at the cathedral." My eyes widen. She spoke of what I had done. "My brother was killed."

"So your looking for revenge as well?" I ask picking up my guard.

"No, I don't care about petty squabbles. Besides, I'd say we're almost even now." There was a brief pause. "I was the one that cut you down in the human world. It turns out, we helped each other without even knowing it."

"I had no intention in helping you or your clan." I snap.

"Yes well, you have helped me quite a bit regardless. More then I have helped you so I will aid you once more." She said coolly. "I will bring you to the soul gate and allow you passage."

"Why help us? Aren't we enemies of your clan?" I ask.

"Ha, the clan is meaningless to me. There a bunch of power hungry fools bent over too many misunderstandings. How they ever called themselves nobles is beyond me." She said. "I must thank you for stopping all this foolishness and for killing my brother. If the resurrection were to fail he would have been the next leader. He's even more of a fool then the rest of them."

"Why not kill them yourself then? Why get someone else do it for you?"

"I'm not strong enough to kill them. Our clan was never exactly strong, a lot of them fled in secret when the war started. Those who fled came here and changed this place. It used to be a place for those who were exiled now it is their safe haven. This place disgusts me now."

"So you had been exiled?" I asked. Maybe I could trust her a little.

"No, I had exiled myself. I wanted nothing to do with them." She said bitterly

"But why wait all these years to attack them?" I asked. "Why wait until your leader returned?"

"Like I said before, I am too weak to do anything. All I was able to do was lie in wait for the right moment to strike." She said. "Thanks to the three of you that moment came yet even then I could do nothing."

"Rukia, I need you over here. We're losing her again!" Orihime shouted.

I turned and ran around the shield to Tatsuki's side. I crouched beside her and claim her hand with my own. The girl followed closely. Orihime looked at her wearily.

"It's alright. I think we can trust her." I said though Orihime didn't look too convinced. "Can you do something to help her?"

"I can't do much." She said. "Not unless your friend has complete control of herself. If she has full control I can seal her soul the way it is. If there is conflict between the two of them as there is now when I seal her soul, your friend will forever be in conflict with herself and would never wake up. We have to wait until she has full control."

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked frantically. If I couldn't do anything but sit here and watch I would go insane.

"Return the favor." Orihime said slowly. "Call out to her. She reached you when you were on the edge of death so maybe you can reach her now."

She was right. It was Tatsuki's voice that woke me up back there. "Tatsuki, can you hear me? I know your there. I know you can beat this. You're far from weak so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Come back to me, you belong by my side Tatsuki."

I bent over and kissed her. Joy filled my aching heart as she kissed me back and grasped my hand. Our kiss broke and we share a loving look. Before I glanced up at the girl who had taken Orihime's place on Tatsuki's other side.

The girl placed a bare hand on Tatsuki's chest. "This may hurt a little."

Tatsuki looked at her with fear. Who could blame her she had been kidnapped by these masked people and now one of them was with two of the closest people to her. She looks back at me and I give her a reassuring smile. "Everything will be okay. She's here to help. She's a friend."

"I trust you." Tatsuki said not looking away from me. Even when the girl started her incantation, and when her soul was becoming sealed. Tatsuki's grip on my hand tightened as she winced in pain. Tears rolled down my cheeks. "Don't cry. This is nothing. If you're by my side I can handle anything."

I smile down at her as her words ease my worry. I feel Orihime's hand on my shoulder. I take her hand as well. "It's going to be alright. Tatsuki's getting better."

I nod but my tears wouldn't stop. Tatsuki raises her hand, bringing mine with it, and wipes away my tears with the back of her hand. She wiped away all my sadness. I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it. She smiled though her pain.

The incantation comes to a stop. And the girl looks at me but I don't dare break eye contact with Tatsuki. "It's done. She is weak right now but we need to move. The others will be here soon."

I sat Tatsuki up before picking her up bridal style. I turn and walk towards the gate in silence as the others walk beside me. Tatsuki nuzzles her face in my chest with a beautiful smile. That's so cute.

"Wow, Tatsuki," Orihime said. "I didn't know you could be cute."

"I'm not cute." She said burying her face in my chest to hide a blush.

"Not cute." I correct while looking down at her. "Adorable."

"That's so true." Orihime says while trying to stifle a giggle.

Tatsuki clutched my robes tightly and mumbled something. It was possibly an argument. I didn't respond. Glancing down I noticed tears in her eyes. "Thank you for giving me the strength to come back. I had almost lost myself before I heard you."

"I'm glad I was able to help you, but I never gave you strength. You already had it. I just helped you find it" I reply kindly.

She was happy with that. She didn't have to rely on others during her fight. Maybe now she will realize just how strong she really is. Then she won't have to hide behind her fears any longer. "Rukia, you won't leave now will you?"

"Why would I possibly do that?" I asked baffled.

"Before you said you would only remain by my side until I was out of danger." Tatsuki said sadly.

"That was then, this is now. Then, I didn't know what my feelings were. Now, I know that I love you." I say reassuringly. "I always want to be with you."

She smiled and reburied her face in my chest. I could here Orihime trying to stifle another giggle. I glanced over at her and saw how much she was trying to hold it back. I shook my head and she nodded with a smile.

We remained in silence. It seemed as though Tatsuki had fallen asleep in my arms, for the first time of many times to come. Orihime was constantly checking to see if we were being followed. I didn't say anything out of fear it would wake Tatsuki up, while the masked girl had nothing to say to us.

I glanced down at Tatsuki again. Her sleeping face was just too cute. I could just hold her in my arms forever. A smile grew on my face as I thought of holding her in my arms every single night and telling her how much she means to me.

"You heart picked up." Tatsuki said softly. "You're not thinking something dirty are you?"

I could feel my face heat up. Orihime let out a joyous laugh beside me. "I was not thinking anything dirty!"

"Then why are you blushing?" Orihime chimed cheerfully.

I looked away angrily. "Because it's embarrassing, not dirty, just embarrassing."

I could feel my blush deepen as Tatsuki looked up at me. I cautiously met her eyes. She had a big goofy grin on her face. "What?"

"Now you're the cute one, Rukia." Both Tatsuki and Orihime burst out laughing.

"Well, you seem better. You can walk now." I said bluntly.

Tatsuki immediately stopped laughing as Orihime laughed even more. I had successfully wiped that grin off her face. Tatsuki nuzzled into my chest once more and closed her eyes. Was she going to go to sleep or was she just listening to the beat of my heart. I pulled her closer. I wonder if she can feel my love for her.

We fell into silence once more as we tried to keep a quick pace. However with the stiffness I felt in my body and with carrying Tatsuki I was definitely slowing us down a lot. It had only taken Orihime and me a quarter of the time to get from the gate to the ruins. Now with the current situation it was taking a lot longer.

We were close the soul gate now. It would only be a few more minutes now. I stopped and glanced back. No one was after us anymore. It's been way too quiet. Something isn't right. Could they have set up a trap for us at the gate? Or maybe they plan on trapping us inside the gate itself. "Tatsuki, can you walk?"

"I think so." She replied. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing, just my arms are sore." I lied. It all had to seem normal. Just incase this 'ally' of ours was really just setting us up. I let Tatsuki down. "To be honest my whole body aches. I think I'm going to need a long hot bath when we return."

I could see Tatsuki burn deep red with a blush. I smile slyly and deviously whisper in her ear; "Who's thinking dirty now."

Tatsuki took a step back and managed to blush an even deeper red. I had completely shocked her. Orihime offered a light chuckle. She felt unease as well. I knew that cautious look she held. She was searching for any trace of danger. "How long will we have in the soul gate?"

The girl looked at me before bluntly saying; "You have five minutes."

Five minutes, well it's a little better then getting through the dagai where it was only a four minute time span. But something wasn't right about the way she answered me. Did she mean five minutes in the gate or five minutes before we were ambushed?

My unease worsened as I remember taking longer then five minutes when I went through the gate earlier with Orihime. Even though we barely made it out in time it had still been much longer then five minutes. "Where will it take us?"

"It should take you outside of Karakura." She replied without emotion.

"I see. That's a bit far from where we need to go." I said deep in thought. I need to think of a way to get out of this.

"Would it be possible for us to open our own gate to Soul Society?" Orihime asked.

Nice save. I hadn't even thought of that. We both watched her cautiously. She moved her head ever so slightly to the side. It was more of a twitch but still it gave her away. My eyes narrow. Trap. "We are this close to the soul gate and now you think of returning to Soul Society? Why not just use this gate here instead of traveling even more."

"She has a point." Tatsuki said as I inched away from her slowly.

I needed a bit more room for an effective attack. Orihime repeated her question. "Is it possible?"

Had she noticed the slip up as well? "I suppose it is possible to open the Senkaimon. But it isn't necessary."

My position was perfect now. I could leap at her enabling me to cut her down with ease and then put another binding spell on Tatsuki if need be. She looked over at me. "Is there a problem?"

"No, I would just rather go strait to squad four then make an unnecessary detour. But oh well, I guess we could just use that gate." I let out a fake sigh.

"Very well, shall we continue?" I smile and nod.

She turns to leave. My smile fades as I lunge at her. It's over before she had a chance to defend herself. She was unmoving on the ground. Tatsuki made a startled noise. "Do it now, Orihime."

"Right" She put up her shield immediately and something smashed into it.

I quickly turn to Tatsuki and point at her. **"First restraint! Obstruction!"**

I bind her with ease. She was on the ground in an instant with another startled noise as she struggled to break free from my kidou spell. "Don't fight it. There's no other way right now. I'm sorry."

I turn away from her and opened the Senkaimon. "Rukia," Orihime called frantically. "Their coming, we need to go right now."

"Right, help me with her." I say as we grab Tatsuki and drag her through the gate.

Once inside Orihime drops her shield and the gate closes. We drag Tatsuki as fast as we can though the weight of the spell slows us down.

"Was this absolutely necessary?" Orihime pants. "Wouldn't it be easier if she could walk?"

"We don't even know what that girl did to her. What if she loses control again? That would be bad. You know we can't risk conflict in here."

She doesn't argue as we continue our passage. Every time we can manage it our pace quickens. We can see the gate. It's already closing. Not good. "Um I don't want to distract you two but… What the heck is that thing?"

I glance back. My eyes widen with fear. A janitor, that's the last thing we need. "This is perfect, Rukia release the kidou."

"Good idea," I release Tatsuki from the kidou and help her to her feet. "Let's run."

"No, we won't make it. This is our only chance." Orihime said with determination. I watched in horror as she raised her shield between us and the janitor. Is she crazy? To pull a stunt like this in here is ridiculous. It is completely unheard of and reckless.

**- End Part 9 –**

_Couldn't help but poke fun at Tatsuki here because even tomboys in a situation like that act girly. I sure as hell do._


	10. Final confrontation with Anemone

**- Final Confrontation With Anemone -**

The janitor makes contact with the shield making it shatter like an explosion sending us all flying back. We barely make it out alive as we hit the ground in the Rukongai district. I don't believe that actually worked. I was briefly dumbstruck before anger filled me.

I sat up and checked to make sure everyone was here and intact. Tatsuki was lying on her side beside me panting heavily while Orihime was sitting a few feet away from us laughing as if it were a joke. No one seemed badly hurt. That was good at least but still… "What were you thinking, Orihime? You almost got us killed!"

She continued to laugh. "You sound just like Yoruichi. I was scolded just like that the first time I did that."

"You've done that before?" I was shocked at this news.

"Yeah, the first time I came here. We were in the same sort of situation." She said cheerfully. "I figured it worked back then so it could work now, right?"

I shook my head in amazement at how her brain works as I collapse back down to the ground. I look over at Tatsuki. She is still panting heavily. I roll over to my side and place my arm on her shoulder. "We're safe, Tatsuki. We're in Soul Society."

She offers a weak smile. "I'm glad."

Even her words are weak. Something's wrong. Is she losing control again? We have to get her to squad four as soon as possible. Orihime stops laughing and makes her way over to us. "Are you two alright?"

If she's asking then Tatsuki isn't losing control. She's been hurt. Tatsuki shakes her head to Orihime's question. I sit up in a hurry and try to roll her over. She cries out in pain. I can tell right away that her arm is broken. "Tatsuki, I'm going to have to leave for a bit. I'm going to go get help. Orihime do what you can here, I'll be back soon."

With that I stood up and hurried towards the Seireitei. I used shunpo to quicken my trip. The walls begin to come down around the border. I quickened my pace with determination and barely made it through.

I could hear the alarms going. Because of our entrance they thought we were Ryoka. They can believe what they want. I'll clear it up later. First I need to find Captain Unohana and get her to Tatsuki.

I travel by rooftops and cut through to squad fours quarters. I'm almost there. I can hear raised voices and arguing below. I must have been spotted. No matter, just a little further. I come to a stop at the entrance to a big building. The voices are getting louder. They had followed me.

I burst in and saw frightened and startled faces. I ignore them all and walk forward to the head desk. Isane is sitting there looking startled. Anyone that was in front out of me stepped out of my way, my very image frightened them. I was still covered in blood and my robes were badly torn.

I reach the desk and slam my hands down on it. "Where's Captain Unohana?"

"She's in a captains meeting right now." She said as calmly as possible. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, it's my friend that needs her." I said impatiently. "You'll have to do, come on. She's in the Rukongai district."

"What about the Ryoka?" She asked following me out as the soul reapers that spotted me earlier barged in.

"Where's the Ryoka? One got in here." One of them yelled.

"There's no Ryoka." I clarified. "It's a misunderstanding."

I approach them but they don't move out of the way. I unsheathe my Zanpakutou. "Move or die."

They cautiously let us by. As soon as we're out side I quickly glance over at her and say; "Hurry."

She follows my lead. She's not far behind as I retrace my earlier path. I just hope she can do something. I hope we won't have to worry about losing Tatsuki to this woman much longer. I grit my teeth as we neared the gate. I hope they couldn't follow us here.

We arrive at the gate and it slowly rises. My Zanpakutou is still griped tight in my hand. Isane is standing beside me. I can see her watching me out of the corner of my eye. It's irritating. "Rukia, what happened? Where did you disappear to?"

"I don't really know." I answered simply as I ducked under the gate. I could hear Isane sigh as she too ducked under the gate and followed me. The gate slammed shut behind us. I eyed everything around. Everything had gone a bit too smoothly for things to be alright now. I didn't like any of this.

I looked around for Orihime and Tatsuki but they were gone. There wasn't any trace of them. Had we come to the wrong place? No, I had left them right here. Did something happen? Did they wander off? Were they captured?

"Rukia," Isane said. "What's going on?"

"I left them right-" I broke off. There was a crash in a nearby house.

I ran to it without question or any sense of caution. I slid the door open and felt all eyes fall on me. There was no one wearing cloaks or masks. Just some average souls trying to have a few laughs and drinks. I heard Isane walk up behind me "Why are we here Rukia?"

"Rukia, there you are." I looked over and saw Orihime waving over at me.

I walked over to her as Isane apologized for us. She caught up quickly. "You said a friend was injured but Orihime's here. Why not just have her take care of things?"

"This is different. It's not something Orihime can deal with." I said as we approached Orihime. "Why did you come in here?"

"I thought it would be safer in here then out in the open. Besides I know the Elder here. He invited us in." she said half serious and half cheerful.

She led us to a far room where Tatsuki was on a futon while the Elder watched over her. Isane silently makes her way over to Tatsuki and examines her before looking over at me. "Other then severe strain to her body she's fine. She just needs rest."

"It's not a physical injury. It's something else I don't know how to explain it. Just please do something." I said frantically.

"Calm down and tell me what happened." Isane said calmly.

I recounted the events with some help from Orihime. Isane had disagreed with a lot of the methods we had used but heard us out regardless. When the name Anemone came up both Isane and the Elder looked full of thought as if they had heard the name somewhere but they both gave up momentarily. No light would ever be shed on them.

We sat and watched as Isane did what she could to help Tatsuki. My worry was driving me insane as I watched Tatsuki lay their unconscious. I felt so useless. I hated this feeling. It's even worse now when it's someone I'm in love with that's in danger. "Isane, is there anything I can do?"

"No, but you should clean the blood off of you and get clean robes." She said calmly.

"I'm not leaving her." I said bluntly. "We don't know if they'll attack again. I can't lose Tatsuki to them again."

"It almost sounds as if you have become attached to this human." Isane joked.

I didn't deny or confirm it. Isane glanced up at me. I looked at her sternly. Her face show mild shock before she returns to her task. "I see. I'll be as quick as possible. I'm sorry."

"Its fine, just please hurry." I said quietly.

Orihime placed a hand on my shoulder. I glanced over and she offered a smile. I try to smile as well but it doesn't quite come out too well so I let it fade. I tried to think positively. I tried to tell myself everything will be okay. Tatsuki cries out in pain. "They're here" She panted. "They've…"

She was cut off by a violent coughing fit. I grabbed my Zanpakutou that was beside me and clutched it tight. "Orihime, if something happens block the door with your shield."

She nodded. I stood and walked to the door while securing my Zanpakutou under my sash. I left the room with a single glance back at Tatsuki silently vowing her safety. I close the door and walk down the hall. It's become too quiet. It was still far too early for the others to have drunken themselves to unconsciousness. I reach the end of the hall and froze at what I saw.

Everyone lay scattered around the room. They weren't moving but there was no blood. Were they dead or were they still alive? I moved to the closest body and crouched down beside it. I checked for any sings of life without dropping my guard or taking my eyes off the door. There was a faint sign of life. He was just barely alive. Did that mean the others too were alive? Or was this one just lucky.

They couldn't have known we were in here unless they've been watching us all along. They had to be watching us otherwise they would have already made they're presence known. I may not be able to do this on my own this time. I have too much to worry about now. There are too many people here that could get involved and die. They must have counted on this. That waited for us to let our guard down. We must already be surrounded.

Movement in the corner of the room caught my eye. I glanced over and saw a younger man trying to lift himself up. "What happened?" I demanded. "Who did this?"

"I don't know. They all wore masks. Everything happened so fast." He stuttered.

"Can you walk?" I asked. He offered a small nod as he tried to stand up. "Go get that gate guard. Hurry, we don't have mu-"

I was cut off as the main door slid open. My attention was forced back in time to see something fly towards me. Instinctively my arm flies up to block it. A small fishing line wraps around my wrist. I look past my arm to the door. A man wearing a mask stood there holding the other end of the line. His body lit up for an instant before the light took form of lighting as it moved down the line to my arm.

Pain unlike anything I have ever experience coursed through my body. I screamed in agony and fell to my knees. No thoughts traveled through my mind as my vision turned white. I could feel my heart begin to stop. The man spoke but I couldn't even begin to comprehend what he was saying. The room seemed to spin in swirls of white and light blue. My voice began to fade along with everything but the pain.

I was limply aware of what was around me as everything stopped. The pain began to fade as well. It was no longer constant. It turned into mind numbing throbs. There was no strength left in my body. My mind slowly began to work again and I became numbly aware of other screams. It was all I could hear through the ringing in my ears.

My vision slowly returned but everything remained blurry and there were dark spots which indicated blindness. I found myself lying on the ground as blurs moved around me. With my vision as it is I can't tell if they're friendly or enemies. I have to assume they are enemies. I have to force myself to move. My body weighs a ton. The blurs communicate with each other as I try to get up.

Something strikes my side making me roll over. I can't make out any of the faces I see. It's as if they are all blank. They hold no color and no features other then an over sized chin. They're enemies. One of them approaches me wielding something I can't make out. The object is brought closer to my face. I can just barely make it out. It's a sword.

The figure speaks words that blur together and hold no meaning. Then the blade is brought away from my face, raising it up to strike me. I'll die with this next strike. In the end I was unable to do anything at all. How pathetic.

Another of the blurs steps forward and speaks. Again I can not understand anything they say. The one that was about to end my life hesitates for a moment before speaking. I try to move while they are distracted. My body is no longer as heavy as before though it is still extremely difficult to move.

I manage to roll over enough to force myself up. One of the blurs motions towards my movements to the others. The one in front of me kicks me in the face and I am sent flying back. They speak once more as I am pulled up by my hair. The pain of this adds to the sharp throbs. My vision blurs even more because of this. However it also brings some of my senses back. My body becomes a bit lighter.

One of them approaches me with, what I assume is a sword, drawn. This is my only chance to get out of this. As they approach they ready their sword to kill me. I slowly reach for my Zanpakutou letting my hand rest on the hilt, letting them believe I haven't the strength to do anymore then that. The figure is in front of me now ready to strike. I unsheathe my Zanpakutou and swing will all the strength I have at the moment. I can feel my blade run through it. The wound isn't deep enough to do much damage.

The one holding me up stabs me from behind and kicks me forward off the blade. I catch myself with my arms and force myself back up. I attack the one closest to me. The figure backs up to avoid my attack. I keep swinging. I lose my balance with each swing but I'm able to catch myself and attack again before they can cut me down. I won't give up. I won't lose my life to them. I will kill them and live on. Even with this near blindness. It won't stop me.

With every attack I become faster and a little bit stronger. Soon the blur can no longer just avoid my attacks. Our blades clash and I can sense the presence of all other figures as they ready for an attack. Our blades leave each other and I sense an attack coming from behind me. I move out of the way and strike down the blur instantly.

Another attack from the side, I block it sending their blade to the side. I shifted my Zanpakutou and sent it through the figure before me. I could sense unease to my let and attacked the figure in that direction. There was a small presence on the ground in front of me. I leap over it as I lunged at my next target. It tried to block but I cut through the sword and pierced its heart with ease. There weren't many of them left now.

Two came at me now while the others remain where they are. One figure attacks high while the other attacks low. I block the high attack, which is more dangerous, while taking the low one in the side. I can barely feel the blade as it is forced through my side. I throw one of them off balance before cutting both of them down but not before the blade had left my body.

I could sense the unease in the others as I moved towards them stepping over any presence that remained on the ground. I felt a line wrap around my neck followed by a small light in front of me. I quickly sliced through the line before the light reached my neck. Their unease grew. I could sense danger approach. I used shunpo to avoid it and strike down the figure with the strange ability. The other is close and attacks immediately. We stab each other. Each wound is fatal. Death won't come instantly but soon enough to ensure the fight is over.

Our blades leave each other. He falls to the ground as I turn and walk away. All sense of what is around me fades away as quickly as blood leaves my body. I stumble over a few bodies but somehow find my way back to the hallway. I collapse against the wall unable to carry my own weight any longer. Soon even the wall can no longer support me and I fall to the ground withering in pain.

**- End Part 10 -**


	11. Run from the darkness, fear the light

**- Run From The Darkness, Fear The Light -**

Again I am surrounded by darkness as death embraces me. I do not fear it this time. I'm familiar with everything I feel. The weightlessness and the cold comforts me as all the pain leaves my body. My ears are still ringing. I try to speak but I still can't find my voice. Am I still partially blind as well?

I know I won't be brought back this time. It isn't possible. I just wish I was able to see Tatsuki one last time. But it's no longer possible. I relive the past two day's events in my head. Despite the numbness and the cold I feel I can still feel my happiness warm me as I look back on how Tatsuki had always been blushing when I spoke to her and constantly looked away. How did I not notice her feelings before and how did I ever think it was Orihime that she liked?

The warmth faded as I recalled the conflicts I had with the Anemone, Orihime, and Tatsuki. My mind didn't linger over the conflicts for long before I moved onto the memory of holding Tatsuki in my arms. It was a shame I was only able to do it that one time. I felt warm again as I recall our kiss. The first one we had to the last one we shared. I wish we could have shared more time with each other.

The ringing in my ears faded to nothing and I saw a faint light. There were no sobs and no one called to me. Did this mean I was being reincarnated? That seemed a little fast.

The light grew fast as I was thrust towards it. It quickly became too bright to look at but I couldn't look away from it. The light itself was entrancing. The light surrounds me now. It brought so much warmth and happiness with it. I felt as though I was becoming one with it and it felt fantastic.

Then something happened. Something grabbed me and pulled me back. It dragged me away from the warmth of the light and back into the cold bitterness of the dark. I could only watch as the light faded to a horrible nothingness as happiness was denied from me once more. I would forever be in deaths embrace. I would forever remain in this darkness with only the memory of the blissful light which I had been so close to and the dark presence that lingered around me.

I had been taken from it at the last second. What a cruel thing to happen. To give someone the hope of finding true happiness just to cast them aside at the last moment so they can never enjoy it.

A stab of pain ached in my heart as I recalled doing the very same thing to Tatsuki this morning. Now I can understand the pain I had put her through and how easy it was for her to lose herself. Yet still she had clung to hope. She knew I would come for her. She knew that I would protect her. How much faith did she have in me?

How much would she hurt when she learns of my death? To think this is my second death in one night. At least she can be at ease in knowing that this time she wasn't directly involved.

I began to feel heavy and my muscles stiffened uncomfortably. Yet still no one called out to me and no one spilled tears for me. The presence remained by my side with persistence as if waiting for the light to return for me so it can cruelly drag me away.

I could feel the presence graze me gently. It made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to be in this darkness any longer. I want to leave the dark and the presence behind me. I didn't want to be in death's presence any longer.

The stiffness became worse as I felt myself rise up as if I lay at the bottom of a pool. For some reason I could tell I would hit the surface soon. Soon I would be choking on air. It was so close now, I could feel it. The presence followed me up. It moved faster then I was. It was going to stop me again. It was going to force me back.

My body became heavy once more as the presence cut me off just before the surface. I began to sink again while the presence stood in my way. I could feel it reach out and grab me. It spoke to me in a familiar voice. _'You're so close.'_

The voice wasn't taunting or anything like that. It was encouraging. It was helping me forward. The presence carried me to the surface._ 'I'll see you on the other side.'_

Wait, was that Tatsuki? I broke the surface and the darkness faded away. Well, almost anyways. I was in a dark room that was dimly lit by the moonlight that came in through the window. I could feel someone stir beside me. I looked over and saw Tatsuki sitting by the bed I was lying in. She was hunched over with her arms and head resting on the bed.

Her eyes were closed. She was resting peacefully. So it was her presence that never left my side. It was her that helped me break through the surface. My arm was limp as I raised it. I wiggled my finger to get better response before I stroked Tatsuki's hair. I could feel how greasy and dirty it was. I smiled happily. She had never once left my side.

She stirred in her sleep as her eyes slowly opened. She looked up at me. Her face had hollowed and paled since I had last seen her but regardless her face brightened drastically. She practically jumped on me in an attempt of a hug. I could feel her tears fall on her neck. I clumsily wrapped my free arm around her, which was more of dropping it on her.

She cried for a long time as I stroked her hair. Though I could hear perfectly and my vision had returned my voice still would not come to me.* All I could do was hold her tightly and try to show her everything would be okay. Her sobs slowed and she lifted herself off of me and raised herself up so our lips could meet.

We kissed deeply and I slip my tongue into her mouth. She didn't withdraw but instead deepens the kiss and tightens her grip on my shoulders. I could tell she didn't want to separate from me as she made our kiss as deep as possible though we would have to break for air soon.

Already I could feel the lack of air in my lungs. Tatsuki pulls away from me panting her eyes still held tears that threaten to fall. I place my hand on her cheek and offer a smile which she returns immediately. She rests her forehead on mine. "I was so afraid you wouldn't wake up. I was afraid they couldn't-"

I cut her off with another kiss. I don't want her to speak of her fears. All I want is to show my love for her. Perhaps that is why I can't find my voice. Words can't even begin to explain my love for her. I free my arm from underneath her and pull her as close as I can. I don't want any distance between us. The kiss we share now is more passionate then deep. Our lips part and we smile at each other. There is so much I want to do right now but instead I just hold her in my arms and enjoy the happiness I feel right now.

Tatsuki climbed up onto the bed and laid to my side with one hand on my shoulder the other on my stomach. I smiled and kissed her on her forehead as I took her hand with my own. She smiled back and snuggled up to me, burying her face in my neck.

I could practically feel how happy she was right now and it filled me with joy. Especially since she had stayed by my side for who knows how long. I didn't dare try and ask. Words would only ruin this moment of happiness we had. How long had I made her wait for me?

I was glad she was content with just this. I didn't want to take anything further then this. Not yet anyways. All I want to do is hold her and share words when necessary. Just having her here like this is enough to bring me happiness.

I recall the bliss of the light I had almost been consumed by. That must have been the final line of whatever life my body clung to. Whatever pulled me away must have been Orihime or Isane bringing me back. I needed to thank them both for saving me and letting me see Tatsuki again.

I didn't feel the least bit tired right now since I had been out for undoubtedly a long time now. I could feel hunger growing in me and the intense urge to use the bathroom as well as bathe. Just how long had I gone without bathing now? I must smell as disgusting as I feel. I shuddered at the thought. Tatsuki looked up at me. "Are you alright?"

I offered a slight smile and tried to find my voice. "I fine," My voice was painfully hoarse and felt as though it dragged sandpaper along my throat as words left me. "I just need a bath."

"Do you want to do that now?" I nod wanting to avoid speech as much as possible. "I'll help you get there."

She sat up with and helped me up. My body was stiff and unresponsive. I could hardly move on my own. I got to my feet as Tatsuki offered her support. I stumbled on my first step falling into Tatsuki. She caught me with ease and helped me to the door. By then I was able to support myself a lot better so I didn't have to rely on her as much.

We held hands as I lead her to the hot springs behind the building we were in. We walked in silence and we met no one on the way. It must be really late or really early in the morning for things to be this quiet.

We make quick of the trip each anxious for a hot bath. As much of a tomboy as Tatsuki is, she's still a girl. I wonder if she knows we're going to a hot spring. A sly smile spreads on my face as I picture her reaction.

We turn down the final hallway and I feel a bit bad about putting Tatsuki in an awkward position. I slow to a stop and she turns to look at me. "Is everything all right?"

"I don't want to put you in an awkward position." I say with a painful voice. "It's a hot spring. I don't know if you would be comfortable in that sort of situation with me yet."

She blushes a little but smiled. "I just spent the last few days by your side. Not to mention everything else that's happened this past week. I'm sure I can manage to take a bath with you. Besides you said it yourself, I shouldn't listen to my fears."

I smiled. She has finally stopped running from her fears, though this has nothing to do with the fear I was talking about at the time. We entered the change rooms silently. Her blush was only getting worse as we progressed. We got to the benches. I had my back to her as I disrobed in silence. I could hear her quickly move to a shower stall and close the door behind her. That was fast. Was she that anxious for a bath?

I undid my robes and tried my best not to burst out in laughter as I heard Tatsuki voicelessly freaking out in the stall. I fold my robes neatly and place them on the bench before proceeding to a shower stall. I decide to leave a couple stalls between us so she won't be as embarrassed.

As soon as a close the door I can hear Tatsuki quickly leave the stall she is in place her clothes on the bench before running back to the stall. It's near impossible to not laugh at her embarrassment. I start the water and do my best at scrubbing all the sweat and dirt off of me. I finish quickly and leave grabbing a towel on my way out. I stop and consider waiting for Tatsuki but figure if I did then she would die of embarrassment.

I continue out making my exit as loud as possible so Tatsuki knows I left. I rubbed my shoulder as I walked outside and felt how tense my muscles were. I let out a sigh as I dropped my towel on an outdoor bench and proceeded into the spring.

The water did wonders for my muscles as I sank in. I held my breath and went under so I was floating just under the surface. I tried to compare this feeling to the one I had before I woke up. It held some similarities but it was different as well. I surfaced and moved to the side to sit down comfortably.

My muscles began to loosen as I messaged them. I can hear Tatsuki make her way over slowly. I glance over and smile. She has a towel wrapped around her. She makes her way to the spring before I stop her. "You need to lose the towel."

Her face reddens with embarrassment. "Do I have to?"

I nod. She stood there hesitating. She looked completely embarrassed. I looked away and went back to massaging my muscles. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see her drop the towel. I look further away as she jumps in. A sly smile forms on my face. There's no question about her virginity at least.

She surfaces and sits where she entered not wanting to reveal herself or be close to another naked girl. I stretch out my legs a bit and felt no stiffness. Glancing over at Tatsuki I could see only her head sticking out of the water. My sly smile returned. No question whatsoever of her virginity.

I motion her over and she sinks even more under the water. I smile at her shyness and stand up and walk towards her as she blushes deeply but doesn't look away. I sit next to her and she tries to inch away. "You don't have to be embarrassed, Tatsuki. Nothing will happen until you're ready."

She stopped moving away but there was still some space between. I glanced over at her and caught a small nod. I look up at the full moon and all the stars. There aren't this many stars visible in Karakura. I relaxed in the water next to the girl I loved.

"Rukia, are you ready for," she hesitated. "That sort of stuff…"

Spoken like a saint. "I'm not a virgin."

She looked over at me like it was a complete shock. She stuttered half and partial words before giving up. "I may not have told you this, Tatsuki. But I've lived for a very long time."

"How long exactly have you lived?" She asked. "Ah, not trying to be rude or anything."

I chuckle a bit at her attempt at a save. "To be honest," I paused to think about it. "I've lost track around five hundred years."

The look of shock she held remained on her face as she looked away. "Do you not want to be with me now?"

She slowly shakes her head. "It doesn't matter how old you are. I'm sorry I asked. It's just…."

"It's alright. Age is just a number, what really matter's is the love we hold for each other." I offer a smile as she looks at me. "I love you Tatsuki. Regardless of any age difference, which by the way no one really has an age here. We can't die from old age so what's the point in keeping track?"

She smiles and I lean over to kiss her. She shies away. I place a hand on her cheek. "It's alright. I won't do anything until your ready, okay."

She nods but still shies away. I chuckle softly. She's so cute when she's embarrassed. I move away and put some more distance between us. At this distance she looks more at ease. She glances over at me with a bit more confidence. "You really are beautiful, Rukia. Especially in the moonlight."

"You mean when I'm naked, right?" I teased.

Her face reddened. "I wasn't looking at you body."

"Oh, so it's not to your liking?" I joked.

"That's not what I'm saying. You're perfect in every way. But I was just so mesmerized by your beauty under the moonlight so I wasn't really looking." She said sincerely.

"And here I thought your virginity couldn't get any more obvious." I tried not to laugh as she sunk under the water in complete embarrassment.

This was the perfect chance to get her. I moved closer to where she was. I only had to wait a moment before she resurfaces. She had no time to react as I pulled her into a deep kiss. I make sure our bodies aren't touching and that our kiss doesn't last too long so I won't provoke her into doing anything she'll later regret.

I break our kiss and move away. She blushes with a look of mild shock. "No one has ever complemented me like that. Thank you and I'm sorry for teasing you."

"No one has seen you the same way I have." She said before quickly adding; "And I don't mean naked."

"I know, I was just teasing you before. I just though a bit of jokes would help you relax. I know what you meant. Thank you. I think your beautiful as well." I say kindly before bluntly stating; "Although, you don't give yourself enough credit and you hold back way too much."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Even though you held back when we were training I know you can fight well yet still you got captured by the enemy way too easily. You could have easily beaten him." I stated confidently.

"I was sleeping. There was no way I could have done anything." She protested.

"Then I'll just have to train you to be more aware of your surrounding's even when your sleeping."

"That won't be necessary. I know you'll protect me."

"What if I'm not there?"

"Are you saying you won't sleep with me?" She said. "Am I not good enough for you?"

I looked at her with mild surprise. She seems to be herself again. "Don't get too cocky."

"Or what?" She asked while trying not to laugh.

"Oh, I might just," I jumped at her. "Attack you!"

I tackled her down but caught her underwater so she wouldn't hit her back. I found her lips with my own and pulled her out from underwater. We parted momentarily and I moved away to put some distance between us. She grabs my arm and pulls me back. "Don't."

We resume our kiss with more passion as Tatsuki wraps an arm around me while the other holds her up. Our tongues dance together before we part. I back up not wanting to force her into anything. "Is this okay? I might not be able to stop."

Tatsuki smiled and nodded slowly. She was unsure about it. I backed further away and stood up. "Let's get out before we catch a cold."

I walked back to the bench where I left my towel. I picked it up and began to dry my hair as I walked back to Tatsuki who hadn't moved an inch. I picked up her towel and held it up for her to stand up and cover herself. "I won't look."

I close my eyes as she stands up. She takes the towel and kisses me in thanks. I can feel a cold breeze as she wraps the towel around herself. She presses her body against mine. Her hands held my shoulders. "I love you so much, Rukia."

I hold her close to me as I open my eyes and look at the beautiful expression she held. "I love you too, Tatsuki. More than anything or anyone I have ever known. I will always love you so don't force yourself into anything for me."

She smiled with understanding and we kissed once more before she let me go with a slight blush on her face like she just realized I was still nude. I took her hand and led her back inside to get out of the cool of the night.

As we got inside I could see Tatsuki shaking from the cold. She grabbed her clothes and ran to the stall to change. I smiled and quickly dried myself before getting dressed. I left the outer shirt of me robe on the bench as I tied my sash tightly. Tatsuki opened the stall door slightly and peeked out before coming out. She was still shaking. I approached her and pulled her into a hug. "You're freezing."

I held her tightly as she shook in my arms for awhile before letting her go. I wrapped the disregarded piece of my robe around her with a smile. She pulled it around her tightly with a smile. "Come on, let's go."

**- End Part 11 -**

*_Rukia's scream in previous chapter made her lose her voice._


	12. Stare fate in the eye

**- Stare Fate In The Eye -**

My voice had returned to normal and I had told Tatsuki that I would have to report what happened to my Captain before we could return to the human world. I had also explained that I may not be returning for awhile. She was sad and remained silent for awhile as we walked. I explained some of the rules of Soul Society and how I was from a noble house. She took it all in without word though I knew she had her complaints.

We reached the entrance of the building we were in without meeting anyone. I left Tatsuki at the entrance as I went to a side room to retrieve my Zanpakutou. When I returned Tatsuki stood where I left her as if she were a lost child. I took her hand in mine and tried to comfort her with a smile. She smiled distantly and I could still see the hurt in her adverted eyes. I place my hand on her cheek and she met my eyes.

"Everything will be okay. I'll bring you back home myself. But I may not be able to stay, I told you this before." I told her. "There has never been a relationship between a human and a soul reaper. It's unheard of. I don't know what will happen but I'm sure my Captain can work something out."

She nodded weakly and we continued on to my squad's quarters. The sun was just starting to rise in the distance. We would make it to my Captains room while everyone would be getting up. I hope things can work out for the best. I don't know what I would do without Tatsuki.

I can feel a sob build in my throat as my mind thinks of the worst case scenario. Not only could I lose her but I could be imprisoned for my actions as well. If they tried to harm Tatsuki I would have to take her and run. I'd find somewhere for us to live in secret. We would have to cut all ties we have.

I glance over at Tatsuki. Just how much would she be willing to give up for us to be together? "Tatsuki," I start. "If you don't like the way thing are going you can back out of this at any time you want."

She remained silent for a minute as though considering my offer. She looked over at me. "Would you back out if you didn't like the way things are?"

"I've died twice for you already. Do you really think anything they do will stop me from being by your side?" I said bluntly. "I won't leave you unless that's what you want."

I could tell she was grateful for my straightforward answer. She smiled at me with confidence. I could feel her confidence flow into me as we held hands. "We'll make it through this. Even if we have to leave everything we know behind us."

"Do you think that will happen?" Worry shook within her voice. "I don't want to leave you but I don't know if I could leave everything. I mean it's not like I could exactly explain this to my family. I know Orihime will understand but what about everyone else."

"If you wish to back out you can." I repeated. "I must warn you before this get's sorted out we will have to hide this. So I may be cold towards you. Though, I believe Isane may already know of this."

"I understand, but what's the big deal anyways? It's not like it's any of their business what you do."

"That's true, but it will be a major distraction when I'm on duty. It will put you in danger as well. Part of the duties of being a soul reaper is to protect the living as well as the dead. They are all equal. However, if you and another soul were in danger I would focus more on protecting you and not the other soul."

"I see." She said slowly.

"Also, we have to consider what happened when I protected you before." I said coolly. "They might see you as a risk to my safety and not allow it. We're going to have to be very careful from now on."

Her hand left mine immediately. At least she understood. "So we'll just treat each other like we did before?"

"Just about," I paused. "Try not to be as embarrassed when talking to me though. Treat me like you would treat Orihime."

She nodded with a blush and looked away from me. I turned to gaze down the road. The sun was up now and soon people would start to go about their business. We were almost at Captain Ukitake's office. We just had a couple more roads to go down before it was in view.

I could tell that Tatsuki was nervous without having to look at her. We turned a corner and saw some other soul reapers walking down the same road. I recognized them immediately. The taller one was Sentarou, while the shorter one was Kiyone. They ran over to greet me when they saw us. "Rukia, thank goodness you're alright."

They shouted in synced with each other then they skidded to a stop and glared at each other. I continued towards them as they began arguing with each other. "I assume the two of you are well."

They stopped arguing and answered my question at the same time. Sentarou started shouting at Kiyone once more. Kiyone ignored him and looked at me. "We were just sent to check on you. Captain Ukitake wants a report of what happened and where you had disappeared to."

"Yes, I am on my way now to inform him." I said in my regular tone. "Thank you for giving me the message. I assume you will be accompanying us?"

"Of course, we don't want you to push yourself too hard, Rukia. You were badly injured. It's a miracle you're even alive right now." Sentarou burst out.

"It had little to do with 'miracles'. It was something else all together that saved me." I said.

"Ah, yes. Isane and that Orihime girl were with you as well. That girl can work wonders with her powers." Sentarou said. "Those two together would make a pretty good team."

"Yes, it would really be something." I agreed thinking it over. "Shell we go? I don't want to keep the Captain waiting."

They offered a salute and a synced answer before we walked down the street as they argued. Tatsuki remained silent beside me for the rest of the walk and I didn't give her much attention other then the occasional side glance to make sure she was doing alright. Her nervousness was growing steadily as we approached Captain Ukitake's office.

We were told to wait outside as they went in to announce our arrival. I looked at Tatsuki, who looked very uncomfortable. I place my hand on her arm. Our eyes met. "Everything will be okay. Just follow my lead."

She smiled weakly as there was arguing on the other side of the door. I dropped my hand from her arm and looked back at the door as it opened. Sentarou and Kiyone argued as they walked down the hallway. I walked in bowing at the door. Tatsuki did the same then proceeds to follow me into the room.

I stopped a few feet from the desk and bowed on one knee. Tatsuki did the same beside me. I looked up. "Good morning, Captain."

"How are you doing, Rukia." He asked.

"I'm much better now." I said. "How is your health?"

"It's much better then it has been the past couple of days. Would you like some tea?"

I stood and motion for Tatsuki to do the same. "I'm fine, Sir."

"Does your friend want any?" He asked as he walked to the kettle.

"I'm fine, Sir." She responded nervously.

"There's no need to be so formal." He replied calmly while making himself a cup of tea. "What happened a few days ago?"

I told him in as much detail as possible leaving out the parts where Tatsuki and I had shared intimacy or our feelings. He sat in his chair for a long time as he went over what I had told him. His tea was long done before he spoke again. "It's not like you to just run into battle like that."

"I am aware my actions were uncharacteristic." I said with a cool demeanor. "However, I knew next to nothing of the enemy and I still don't. None of what they had said matched up. At the time of Tatsuki's capture I knew that if I didn't follow them then she would be lost and things would have become much worse then they had."

He mulled it over in his head for a moment. "You should have informed me as soon as this started happening."

"I wanted to but Yoruichi said it might not have been wise at the time."

"I see, and Tatsuki, is there any presence of that woman inside you anymore? Do you feel as though something inside you is fighting for control?"

"No Sir," Tatsuki spoke nervously. "Unohana, I think, took care of it after she took care of Rukia."

"That's good to hear. I assume the two of you will be departing back to the human world soon then." He said.

"Captain, there's something else we need to discuss." I said delicately.

"What is it?"

"Tatsuki and I, we're together." He gave me a questioning look. "We've recently become lovers. It was after I saved her to be precise."

"Well, that explains your actions." He let out a sigh before continuing. "You are aware of the consequences of your actions, correct."

"I am and I don't care. This is what I have decided." I said.

He looked at me sternly as he moved around his desk. His eyes never left mine during his approach. "Are you willing to throw your life away for such foolishness?"

"It's not foolishness, but yes. I will go to any length for Tatsuki." I said immediately.

He looked over at Tatsuki. "What about you? Would you be willing to give up everything you know for this?"

"I would." Tatsuki said. "I've been thinking about it for awhile now. Rukia is more important to me then anything else."

"I see," His cold gaze returned to me as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm happy for you, Rukia. Treat each other well."

He returned to his desk leaving us standing there in surprise. He opened a drawer and pulled out some sake and cups. "Shall we celebrate your happiness?"

"Did someone say 'celebrate' while holding sake?" a smooth voice called from the doorway.

I looked over and saw Captain Kyouraku making his way in the room followed closely by an irritated Nanao. He walked over and placed a hand on my back. "It's good to see you well. I heard about what happened."

He walked over to Ukitake pulling out his own sake cup as Nanao approached me and offered a small bow. "I'm glad you're well."

I smile at them. "Thank you for your concern."

"So we drink to you're good health, then." Kyouraku said happily.

"Captain, it's too early to drink. And you have a pile of paperwork to do." Nanao said angrily.

"Oh, it's just one or two papers. It's fine." He said.

"It's not just one or two. I can't even see your desk anymore! You've been letting it pile up all week." Nanao snapped.

Ukitake laughed cheerfully. "Give him a break, Nanao. It would be good luck to have a drink right now."

"I can't believe your encouraging him, Captain Ukitake. He needs to get back to work." She shouted as Ukitake filled the cups.

"It's fine Nanao. Come and celebrate a new relationship with us." He urged while handing out the cups.

"What new relationship?" She asked cautiously taking the cup.

"Why, these two of course." He said handing both Tatsuki and I a cup. I took mine as Tatsuki glanced nervously over at me. "Come on, it's fine."

"I'm underage though." She protested.

"Don't let little things like that stop you from having a good time." Kyouraku said. "If you do you'll never have any fun."

Nanao sighed in defeat as Tatsuki took the cup. "Before we do this," she started getting every ones attention. "You shouldn't just go around telling people about this. Especially Captain Kuchiki, he may be you're brother but he's noble first, captain second, and brother is far down the list."

"Nanao, don't spoil the mood." Kyouraku said sourly.

"Shunsui, saying it after the drink would spoil the mood. It's good caution to avoid doing that by getting it out of the way first." Ukitake said with a laugh and raised his cup. "Now then, to both of your happiness…"

"And a long relationship…" Kyouraku chipped in while raising his cup.

"And health." Nanao finished raising her cup.

We raised our cups and drank the sake in one go. Tatsuki coughed as she finished her first cup of alcohol. I rubbed her back as the Captains shared a laugh.

"So when did this happen?" Nanao asked.

"A few days ago." I said proudly taking Tatsuki's hand in mine.

"Hold on, since you're both here I think we should do it again." Kyouraku said still laughing.

"No, you need to get back to work you lazy drunk!" Nanao snapped at him.

Tatsuki started laughing as Nanao pushed him out of the room as he shouted back to Ukitake. "Jyuushiro, let's get together for a drink later. Bring the young ladies as well."

"You'll drink when your paperwork is done." Nanao shouted.

Ukitake laughed cheerfully as he made his way back to his seat. "The two of you don't have to join us. In fact I'd prefer it if you took the evening to enjoy yourselves."

"Thank you Captain." I bowed.

"Go on, I'm sure there are others worried about you two."

"Thank you." I said bowing again.

We left the room and decided it would be best to return to the human world to avoid any further worry. Along the way to the soul gate we avoided close contact or suspicious behavior though we hardly saw anyone on the way. We were both glad that our relationship was acknowledged and even happier that we got to celebrate it with a nice little group.

**- End Part 12 -**


	13. Open the door to a new future

**- Open The Door To A New Future -**

We arrived in the human world without incident, though Tatsuki had somewhat of a buzz from the sake it was slowly fading now. She was in a much better mood now that there was no more tension. But that didn't stop her unease. We had come out on top of a pretty tall building.

"Do you like the view?" I asked looking over at her.

She smiled at me. "It's great, but how are we supposed to get down?"

So that's what it was. For a minute there I thought she was afraid of heights. "I'll carry you. Do you wish to leave already?"

"It's not that I want to leave. It's just that I should go home and call my mom. She's probably worried to death by now."

I chuckle slightly as I unwillingly recall deaths embrace. Its chill embraces me with a firm grip and throws my mind in circles. My vision blurs as I begin to lose spots of vision. My body grew heavy with tire. I want to close my eyes and have sleep take me into its embrace and never let me go. All memory and emotions fade to nothing. I become weightless as though I am one with the wind. I feel as though I can ride the wind anywhere.

I blink and find myself half on the ground and half in Tatsuki's arms. I choke on cold air as it enters my lungs. My body doesn't respond as I try to move it and my vision is still blurry but no more then that. What was that just then? Did I just relapse into deaths embrace at the mere mention of it?

I felt a stab of pain in my chest that coursed through me instantly. I gasped in pain gripping Tatsuki's arm as every muscle in my body had a spasm. I could feel my nails dig into her bare arms as I withered in pain. As the pain went away my muscles began to relax and my nerves calmed. I panted heavily still clinging to Tatsuki's arm afraid of letting go and falling back into death's hold.

I feel like a child in a mothers grasp. Anywhere outside of these arms is terrifying, while in this grasp nothing can touch me. I was completely safe here. I hand is gently placed on my cheek. I look up and see my beloved. I smile up at her and banish her fears.

"Are you okay?" She asks in a gentle voice.

I continue smiling up at her in response. She moved some stray hairs out of my face and tried to smile down at me but to no avail. "If I'm in your arms then I'm fine."

She pulls me closer to her but I remain clinging to her arm. I still can't let go of her as she presses her lips to mine. We kiss each other as a tear rolls down my cheek. Never in my life has anyone cared this much for me. I felt as though I could melt in her arms as my heartbeat picks up. Can she feel how fast my heart beats for her? Can she feel how strong it has become because of her?

We break from our kiss and she manages to smile at me. I release her arm and wipe the tears that linger unwelcomeingly in her eyes. I'm so happy she's in my life now. I never want to lose her. I never want to leave her grasp. It's a stupid thought but I want it all the same.

I enjoy the moment a little longer before I know it has to end. My eyes never left Tatsuki's. "Shall we get going?"

She nodded but we didn't move as our eyes couldn't leave each other. We kissed again and entered each others mouth. There was nothing left to explore, everything was already familiar to us. I wrap my arm around her neck pulling her closer to me.

We don't let up until we need to breath. We catch our breath before continuing with even more passion then before. I need her so much it's unbearable. I could feel her arm slide down to my waist so she could pull me even closer to her. I already know where this will lead. I should stop before it's too late to go back.

My body doesn't listen to my brain as my hands begin stroking her sides before I reach under her shirt. She breaks our kiss panting for breath. My hands continue their ascent regardless. She stops one of my hands and barely gets out her next words. "Not… here… my house… bed…"

I retrieve my hands from beneath her shirt and she releases me so I can stand up. Upon standing I turn and offer my hand. She takes it with a smile and I pull her straight up. "Where do you live?"

"Do you know where Ichigo lives?" She asked.

"Yes," I reply simply not wanting to tell her I lived in his closet for a while.

"I live a few blocks away from his house."

"Alright get on my back." I said crouching down so she could climb on.

She obliged and I stood up with little difficulty. I used shunpo to the best of my ability while carrying her. It proved rather difficult to do but I managed a good distance before I had to find a place to land. We landed by the river so it was less likely that Tatsuki would be seen floating around.

We walked from the river in silence, again, so Tatsuki wouldn't be seen talking to herself. Traveling like this wasn't exactly ideal but it's not like I could run back to Urahara's to get my gigai and meet her back at her house. Maybe if I knew where it was, but I didn't so that ruled out that possibility.

I started to recognize the area, we were getting close now. This was Ichigo's neighborhood. I was becoming both anxious and nervous. It's not my first time but it's been so long that I know I'm going to be overly sensitive.

Tatsuki quickens her pace as we turn down another street. I match her pace with ease as we continue along the street. Soon we're at her house where she stops dead in her tracks.

"My mom is here." She proceeds to the door with caution. "Go around to the back. I'll open my window for you when I have a chance."

"Alright," I reply before jumping onto the roof. I hear the door open and close below me. I make my way to the other end of the roof where I sit on the edge letting my feet dangle over it. It isn't long before I hear movement and raised voices in the room below me.

I chuckle as I can hear Tatsuki getting scolded by her mother. I try to relax in the sunlight as the voices below raise and lower. The voices stop and there is silence. I listen carefully for a window sliding open. When nothing comes I begin to wonder if something's wrong. Should I go in to see if everything is alright?

I got to my feet and stretched out a bit. I was about to go down to check on Tatsuki when my soul pager went off. I pulled it out and scanned the screen. It was just a small fry not too far from here. I let out a sigh. Tatsuki will have to wait. I put my soul pager away and went to the hollow's location.

I got their quickly and looked around. I didn't see or sense anything around here. There was a loud howl close by. I went straight for the source of the noise and came across an average sized hollow. It was just roaming around aimlessly. That should make things easier.

I leapt over to it overtaking it with ease. By the time it noticed me my Zanpakutou was already drawn. I sliced through its mask like it was nothing. It howled once more before disappearing. That takes care of that, now to go take care of Tatsuki.

I went back as fast as I could only to find that her window remained closed. I felt a little let down at being denied her presence. I sunk down to the window and leaned on the wall beside it listening closely for any sounds coming from her room. I couldn't hear anything. Perhaps I should enter on my own.

I turned to the window as a door was slammed. I cautiously moved away from the window and leaned back on the wall. The window slid wide open and I could see Tatsuki lean out with a sigh. "Is everything alright?"

She looks over and jumps back in surprise uttering nonsense instead of words. I chuckle at her reaction. "Sorry, I made you wait so long. My mom went on a rant."

"It's alright," I reply. "I just got back. There was a hollow I had to take care of. It works out well this way."

She lets out another sigh. I look over and notice she's upset. "Are you alright, Tatsuki?"

"Yeah, my mom's just overreacting again." She said with aggravation.

"Don't be so hard on her. She has a very good reason to worry about you. I mean look at what happened to you."

"Yeah, but it's not like I told her that. That would really-" She broke off and looked away. "Sorry, it's nothing."

I offered a small smile. She returned it with an even smaller one. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "Nah, its fine, she'll cool down soon enough. She's just calling off the search party now. I expect she'll be back in here to scold me some more any min-"

Tatsuki broke off as her bedroom door opened. I could hear her mother walk in speaking frantically about safety, criminals, recent murders and disappearances. It was basically a mother's concern on their child's well being. I listen to Tatsuki's mother go on about it for half an hour with a smile on my face. It must be nice to have a relative that cares.

After the safety speech Tatsuki tried to explain some of what happened. She left out the death and most of the violence. She claimed that a friend got into a fight and was badly injured and she had to stay by her side to help her. When there was ask of no phone call Tatsuki was stumped. I chipped in; "Urahara doesn't have a phone."

Tatsuki used the excuse at once. I let a sly smile form on my face as I had to throw more suggestions to save Tatsuki. Like why they didn't go to the hospital and how there was no way Tatsuki could have contacted her mother because she couldn't leave her 'friends' side because the injuries were too bad and had Tatsuki left her 'friend' would have got up and did things themselves increasing the injuries.

Eventually her mother bought it. It was a relief that she had finally bought it for I had run out of excuses to pull and Tatsuki had ran out long ago. I had been speaking for her ever since the hospital was brought up.

Her mother left again telling Tatsuki not to leave her room until her say so. The door opened and closed then there was silence for a moment before Tatsuki returned to the window. I glanced over at her with a smile. "Shall I come by later in my gigai and apologize properly and give an explanation? I could give the same story."

"Maybe, if I get grounded." She said with a smile. "Thanks for the save back there. I would have been busted if it weren't for you."

"You'd be in a worse situation if it weren't for me." I said

Tatsuki remained silent for a moment. "You're right and I still haven't properly thanked you for it."

I give her a stern look at her foolishness. "You've thanked me enough already. When it comes to apologies or thanking someone words don't matter. It's all about your actions that show your sincerity in the matter. You repaid me with your love and your company when I was unconscious for days. That's more then enough."

Tatsuki looked at me with a slight embarrassed look on her face. "I never thought of it that way but that's so true. But what do you do when it's something small like bumping into someone or when someone offers you something?"

"If it's something simple like that then words suffice. When it's something major too little words don't really do much. As an example words can't take back what I put you through. All I could do was work for your forgiveness."

"I think you may have gone out of way on that one." She said quietly.

"It was necessary for your survival, as well as Orihime's." I said bluntly. "To be honest, I went into that fight knowing I was going to die. My last line of defense was to take down the whole structure when you and Orihime had made your escape."

"What? Why would you do something like that? Why go so far to kill yourself like that?" she asked as tears formed in her eyes.

"It was the only way to stop then from chasing you after I died. Back then I despised myself. I thought there was no way I could be forgiven for my actions." I said truthfully. "I didn't think there was anyway you could possibly still hold feelings for me."

"There's no way I couldn't, Rukia. After everything you did for me how can I not love you?" She said desperately. "How many times have you been there to help me?"

I smile at her. "That doesn't mean you could never hate me. I did some really terrible things to you."

"It's in the past. Besides I forgave you." She said confidently. "When I saw you in that room fighting for me I knew there was no way I could hold any anger towards you. You did all that for my sake."

"You're happy with what I did back there? All those people I killed without mercy. I didn't give any of them a chance." My voice shook as I recalled my actions. "I don't even regret killing them. The only regret I hold is Orihime witnessing that. I didn't even know you had seen it as well."

Tatsuki remained silent at the window as I placed a hand on my forehead to hide the tears that were beginning to form. "I've become a monster. Even in the Rukongai district. I killed them all with no regret or hesitation. If they show themselves again I know I would cut them all down without mercy. I'd destroy the whole clan myself if I ever got the chance."

Tatsuki gave me a worried look but couldn't say anything to me. What is there to say? How could anyone say anything to me, a person who's done such horrible things? Tatsuki reached out and awkwardly place a hand on my arm. I didn't look at her. I couldn't. What would she see in my eyes?

"Rukia, I forgive you for what you did back there." Her voice was so calm and understanding. "It may not have been the right thing to do, but it was the only thing you could have done."

I looked at her in shock. "How could you or anyone forgive me for what I did?"

"If you didn't do that I wouldn't be here and neither would Orihime. You did what you had to. Both times" She responded with a kind smile. "The reason behind your actions earns your forgiveness. No one is upset with you about what you did."

Tears flowed down my cheeks freely at her kind words. She was right. If I hadn't done those things both Orihime and Tatsuki wouldn't be here right now. How could I not have realized that? "Come on in. You need to relax a little."

She retreated back into her room and I followed her in silently. I removed my Zanpakutou and placed it by her window before following her to the bed where we sat in an uncomfortable silence. Tatsuki took my hand and held it as I remained deep in thought. I thought about what she had said to me. I played her words over and over again each time her forgiveness eased my hatred until it was no more.

Finally I looked over at Tatsuki and smiled at her. She returned my smile instantly as her hand squeezed mine. I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. We moved away smiling at each other kindly. "You have no idea how much your words mean to me."

Tatsuki smiled and kissed me on the cheek. "I think I've got a pretty good idea. You're smile seems more real now then it has for a while now. Don't run from the past, anymore. You've been forgiven for everything."

My smile fades a little at the mention of the past. I remember Kaien. He thanked me back then because I did the only thing I could do for him. I ended his suffering. "I've been so blind."

Tatsuki placed her free hand on my cheek. "If you can see now then it doesn't matter anymore. Everything happens for a reason."

"I think I can finally let that night go now. I can finally let Kaien's memory rest as it should have long ago." I say quietly.

Tatsuki doesn't respond she still doesn't know what happened or who Kaien is. For now I'd like to leave it like that. It's not something to talk about in a time like this. All I want to do right now is enjoy Tatsuki's company.

**- End Part 13 –**

_In the end of this chapter they are talking about two different things. Tatsuki is talking about her confession and the events leading up to where they are now, while Rukia is clearly talking about Kaien._


	14. Walk forward, close the door to the past

**WARNING:**_ this chapter is pretty much only smut so feel free to skip it if you want. The next chapter is only an omake, so just basically some random comedy with some serious moments __as well. If you do skip the rest of this then R&R all opinions are welcome._

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><p><strong>- Walking Forward, Close The Door To The Past –<strong>

We remained in silence for another half hour but we are no longer holding hands. We moved on to laying down on the bed while holding each other tightly Until we hear movement outside the room then Tatsuki simply puts her hands behind her head incase her mother walks in. It would make a funny image. I imagine Tatsuki lying on her bed holding the air above her.

I laugh at the thought and Tatsuki looks down at me. "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing, I'm just picturing your mother walking in on you holding me." I say simply.

"I think she might freak out." Tatsuki said.

"I think she would question you for holding the air." I say moving up to her face while speaking with a seductive voice; "And kissing it ever so passionately."

I kiss her passionately as we reintroduce our tongues to each other. We hold our kiss for awhile before we hear Tatsuki's mom calling her from the hallway. We break apart instantly and I move away. Tatsuki rushes to the door in a hurry and opens it as she calls; "Yeah mom?"

"Come down for dinner. It'll be ready soon." Her mother called as I made my way to Tatsuki in silence.

"I'm not really hungry right now. Put my portion in the fridge. I'll have it later." She said before closing the door.

She turned and jumped back. She hadn't noticed my approach at all. Her back hit the door and I pinned her to it so I could resume our earlier kiss. There was no resistance as I pinned her arms to the wall as well. I break our kiss and smile, Tatsuki's so submissive.

I move my kiss to her neck. She let's out a nice long moan as I begin to suck on her neck. I pull away shortly and admire the red mark I had left there. My pause doesn't last long before I run my tongue over it. She moans in my ear and I practically swoon in its bliss. I want to hear more of her. I want to see more of her. I want to taste more of her. I want all of her.

Her breathing is quick and sharp in my ear as I begin kissing below her ear. I move lower releasing one or her arms so I can pull down the neck of her shirt to gain access to her collarbone. I slowly make my way to it as she grips me tightly. I force her arm back to the wall and she let's out a sharp moan. I pull away and look at her. "Do you want this?"

"Bit… late…" She pants.

I kiss her on the lips and pull away giving her a questioning look. She nods and I continue on the other side of her neck. Her breathing picks up again. Her body begins to shake under mine. I haven't done a thing and she's already so close. I slow my kisses stalling her release. She groans making a sly smile form on my face.

I return to her lips and tease her before kissing her. She kisses me violently trying to push her release. I pull away from the kiss. It's not time for that yet. I return to her neck and place a gentle kiss on the hickey that had begun to form nicely. Her shaking subsides to a dull quaking as I kiss her neck at a slow pace. I raise her arms above her head and hold both of them there with one hand while I release my grip with the other to let my fingers graze her skin as I follow her arm down to her shoulder. Gently I stroke her collarbone above her shirt before pulling her shirt down. I begin caressing her collarbone with my lips and tongue. Her moans are like music. Each one a different note and pitch that sets my heart aflutter.

I move my hand further down while I let it move teasingly around her breasts. I make sure that I don't even graze them. She struggles underneath me as her body heats up. Her arousal is strong enough now that I can smell it. I slide my hand up her shirt and find a nice set of abs. I stroke her toned muscles and pull away from her collarbone. I smile at her as she squirms under me. "These are nice."

She let's out a moan as I begin gently tracing her abs with my fingers. "You must have worked on these for a long time to get them this nice." I cooed "How long has it been?"

She tried to answer but a moan escaped her lips instead. I smiled. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear you. How long was it?"

"I-It's been thirteen years." She barely got out.

"I see, and how about…" I say teasingly as I slid my finger up the center of her abs. "Up here?"

She moaned as I reached her breasts. I began to massage one firmly letting my finger occasionally graze her erect nipple. Her moans heightened in volume with each graze. I pressed my lips against hers roughly to silence her. We kiss quickly and violently as she closes in on her release. I give up on her breasts and bring my hand lower careful not to touch her. I undo her pants as quickly as I can and slide my hand under her panties while pressing my body against hers to support her as much as I can.

It takes less then a moment to feel how wet she is. I force my finger along her slit and her body tenses at the new feeling. I leave my finger where it is and slide my leg in between hers forcing them open. Her arousal seeps all over my finger as I start rubbing her from end to end. I linger on her clit for a moment before moving back. I deepen our kiss and press a finger in and feel her virginity.

At the very moment I touched it she couldn't hold her orgasm any longer. Her reiatsu flared up as she released arching her back as much as my body would let her. I stroked her cherry letting her enjoy the feeling a bit longer before I pulled out. I let my finger rub her clit once more and felt her body tense at the final touch. Our lips separated and I pressed all my body weight against her as she became limp.

She panted heavily on my shoulder as I brought her to the ground. I held her in my arms as she slowly calmed down along with her reiatsu. Her breathing slowed and returned to its regular pace as I stroked her hair. She slowly opens her eyes and looks at me. I smile down at her. "How do you feel?"

"Amazing." She said weakly. "I never knew it felt like that."

"That was just a warm up." I said. "Let me know when your ready for the real thing."

Tatsuki remained silent but her look of shock and nervousness told me all I needed to know. "Virgin." I teased.

She let out a smile. "Not anymore."

I leaned down to kiss her. We part momentarily. "I didn't take your virginity yet. I thought I'd wait until you can handle it."

"What, I thought-" she started.

"If I took your virginity you would know." She gave me a questioning look. "It would have hurt."

Nervousness flashed in her eyes so I gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. When I take you, I'll be gentle."

She nodded slowly as though still unsure about the whole idea. She began to relax in my arms as her body became calm. I get the sudden urge to tease her even though she looks so peaceful in my arms. It's actually probably because she looks so peaceful that I have the urge to do it.

"Are you ready to go again?" I ask seductively. "I could give you pleasure all night."

I move out of the way as she sits up in a panic. She looks over with a ghost white face. I chuckle at her predictable reaction. It is way too easy to embarrass her. She looks away shyly as color starts to return to her face. She muttered something quietly to herself that sounded a bit like encouragement.

She looked over at me again with a full blush but her eyes held determination. She turned and positioned herself behind me and pulled me into a comfortable embrace. I held her arms and leaned into her. I could feel her heart race against my back. I couldn't help but smile, she still hadn't completely calmed down yet. Well, that or she was still in shock from what I said.

Her grip tightened and she started kissing my neck while massaging my breasts roughly. I let her hands explore me above my clothes before she gathered the courage to go further. She pulls my robes apart and begins to explore. Her hands are cold against my skin. When her hands find my breasts they begin to shake as they fumble with my nipples. I wince as she pinches them too roughly. "You're too rough, Tatsuki."

She stopped immediately and pulled away. I held her arms so she couldn't retreat any further. "I'm sorry. I just…"

"It's alright. You've never done this before. Just be gently and it will be fine." I said. "Here give me your hand I'll show you what to do."

She hesitantly obliged and I guided her through multiple sensitive spots that she could hit. I listed others that she would get to later and what to focus on. She took it all in with an uncomfortable silence. I released her hand and she hesitated before making a move. She gently grazed my sides before letting her fingers slid to my breasts.

I could feel her lips on my neck as she kissed and sucked every sensitive spot I had showed her. I moaned pleasantly as she rolled my nipples firmly between her fingers. She was quickly getting better. I could feel my heartbeat pick up and my body started to warm up.

One of her hands left my breast and grazed my toned stomach. She began to carefully caress my stomach, taking in my muscles and my reaction as her hands caressed me. She let her hand linger around my bellybutton forming small circles around it. Her gentle touch was amazing. I could already feel my own arousal stir inside me.

It had been so long since I had felt this I wanted to enjoy every minute of it. Tatsuki slid her hand further down and untied my sash before sliding her hand underneath. She rubbed my inner thighs before spreading them making me body wince in anticipation. Her fingers rubbed and teased around my slit. She stopped kissing my neck and gently spoke; "Are you that anxious, Rukia?"

Her voice was teasing and made me want her even more. I nodded in response. She continued teasing me as my arousal dripped down. I felt my face flush in embarrassment as she continued to tease my body. "I can't hear you, Rukia. You need to speak up."

"Yes," I moaned. "Stop teasing me."

She hummed in my ear as her fingers began rubbing my slit. I moaned loudly as her touch sent tingles throughout every inch of my body. She pinched my clit and played with it like it was my nipple. I let out a loud moan as my pleasure intensified. She continued to tease me as she said; "How badly do you want?"

I moaned loudly before I could answer. "Now… please me… I can't."

"Can't what?" She spoke cruelly in my ear.

"I can't… take it…" I panted heavily as I tried to look over at her. "I want you… in me. Right now… please."

I winced a bit and my body tensed as two of her fingers slid in. They didn't get all the way in when Tatsuki stopped. "Rukia, are you-"

"Don't stop." I say with a pleading voice. "Stop hesitating and just do it."

She thrust her fingers in and moved them around. I could feel her fingers hit my sensitive spot and my back arched automatically. Her fingers retraced their path until they found that spot again. Every time her finger touched that spot I moaned.

After Tatsuki got a grasp of it's location she began moving her fingers in and out of me trying to hit that spot every time she thrust back in. It felt incredible even in this position where it was harder for her to get in me. I let out a slight groan as her other hand gave up on my breast. She caressed my stomach for a moment before she slid that one down even further to join her other hand.

I moaned joyously as one hand played with my clit while the other was inside me. I've never felt anything like this in my life. This was pure ecstasy. The pleasure never faded in fact it got better as Tatsuki picked up her speed as she began sucking on my neck again. I could feel my release build up threateningly fast. I wouldn't be able to hold this at all. "Tatsuki, I'm gonna…"

Her lips left my neck. "Do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head quickly. This couldn't stop when I was this close. I was almost there. Soon, I can't take it anymore. I quickly put my hand in my mouth and bit it as hard as I could and released. The pleasure of my release took any pain away from my hand as I let out a muffled scream of utter bliss.

There was a flash of white that encompassed my vision as the waves of my orgasm rode throughout my body. It was a pleasure unlike anything anyone could ever hope to imagine. It was indescribable. No words could begin to cover it.

I began to see Tatsuki's room again and I felt her tight embrace around me as well as the pain that lingered in my hand from when I bit it. I stared up at the ceiling trying to get actual thoughts to go through my head instead of incoherent ones that made little to no sense.

It took a minute before I realized I was no longer sitting in Tatsuki's embrace but lying in it. It was after that I realized that I was no longer on the floor either. I looked over and saw Tatsuki lying beside me fast asleep on her bed. I smiled and went to fix my robes so they wouldn't tangle us up but they were already fixed. My smiled widened as I rolled over to get closer to Tatsuki, my sweet little virgin.

**- End Part 14 –**


	15. Omake

**- Omake –**

I had to leave Tatsuki's house early so I could get my gigai from Urahara's and make it to school on time. It didn't take me as long as I thought it would so I ended up at school early. I went to the staff room to apologize to Ochi Sensei about my absences. I told her I was sick and didn't want to spread my cold. I convinced her easily with my superb acting skills.

Afterwords I went to class to find it almost empty. The only person there was Uryuu. When he saw me he stood up immediately. "Are you alright, Rukia? I heard what happened from Orihime. Everyone's been really worried about you."

"I'm fine now. Thank you for your concern." I said politely.

"What about Tatsuki? I heard her injuries were almost as bad." He asked.

"She's fine. But I heard nothing of her injuries." I said concerned that this had been kept from me.

"Orihime told me that Tatsuki had to stay in bed for at least a couple of days before she could even move. She also said that even her powers couldn't do anything to help either of you and we couldn't see you two." He said.

"I wasn't aware of any of this. I only woke up yesterday." I said slowly.

There was a moment of silence before Uryuu became serious. "Rukia, what exactly happened? There were a lot of things Orihime left out."

"I assume that would have been what I did." I said coldly. "I'm glad she didn't mention it."

He gave me a questioning look but didn't have to ask again. "I killed them. If they stood in my way they died. I cut them all down without mercy. If anymore of them show their face I'll do the same to them as well."

He looked shocked at my cold words. He sat down quietly. "So is it true then? Did you really die back there?"

"I died twice. I was lucky to have Orihime there as well. She saved me both times." I said with the same cool. "But the second time I was lucky to have Vice-Captain, Isane, there as well. If she wasn't there Orihime wouldn't have been able to bring me back."

"It looks like you got pretty lucky back there. Don't let it get to your head. Next time you might not be so lucky." He warned.

"I'm well aware of that. Also, it wasn't just luck that saved me. It was something else." I said.

Our conversation was over since other students were beginning to arrive in class. I continued to my seat in silence. A few classmates came over and greeted me and asked if I was alright. I greeted them all politely and told them I was fine. Tatsuki arrived with Orihime a while later. We gave each other a slight nod of acknowledgement before she went to her desk.

The morning went by quickly and soon it was lunch. I sat quietly in my desk as the others went about their business. I could see Ichigo approach me from his desk. I looked over at him as he called to me. "Hey, are you doing alright?"

I smile and nod. "I'm fine. In fact I've never felt better."

He stood there waiting for me to fill him in. Orihime skipped over followed almost too lazily by Tatsuki. "Rukia, do you want to join us for lunch?"

I smiled at her noticing that Tatsuki was looking out the window. "Yes, that would be lovely." I turn to Ichigo. "I'll tell you about it later. Or if you insist on knowing now ask Uryuu. I already told him this morning."

I stood up and left the class with Orihime and Tatsuki. When we got away from other students Orihime started giggling. "It seems the two of you are a lot closer."

I felt a blush on my face as I noticed Tatsuki look away. We walked outside in silence as Orihime continued her giggles. We found Orihime's group of friends sitting under the same tree as always. When we got closer Orihime stopped her giggle. "Hey, you're not supposed to start without us."

"Well, you should leave when the bell rings then we won't have to start without you." Ryou stated bluntly before taking another bite of her lunch.

We took a seat with them. I was happy when Tatsuki took her seat next to me. We ate in silence for awhile before the questions started. Of course it was started by Michiru. "So Tatsuki, tell us the truth. You weren't really sick were you?"

"She was probably skipping class to be with her boyfriend." Ryou added slyly.

"I was not." Tatsuki argued. "I had a very good reason for not be in school for the past couple of days. And I wasn't with my boyfriend. I don't _have_ a boyfriend."

"Oh yeah, then what's with the hickey on your neck." Mahana asked.

From the corner of my eye I could see her blush and try to cover it. "That's not…"

"It's from her girlfriend." I said calmly before taking a bite out of my sandwich.

Orihime burst out laughing while everyone else gave me a shocked look including Tatsuki. The only difference between Tatsuki and the others was the full blush on her face.

"Look she's blushing. It's true." Mahana claimed.

"Wow, I didn't think you were like that Tatsuki." Ryou said.

"I knew there was something but even I'm shocked." Chizuru said.

"So you have a girlfriend then?" Michiru asked.

Tatsuki shrank down and nodded her blush was only getting worse. She didn't know what to say to any of this. She was done for. I took another bite of my sandwich not getting caught up in their questions. Orihime really loved this situation as she was near tears with laughter.

"Isn't that kind of gross though?" Mahana asked. "I mean you're both girls."

I gracefully placed my lunch to the side. I could see Chizuru was also offended by her question as well. Tatsuki had nothing left to say.

"Why is it a problem?" I ask. "I don't think there is anything wrong with a girl liking another girl."

"Yeah, but it's gross." Mahana said.

"How so?" I asked.

No one else spoke. Even Orihime's laughter had stopped. Everyone was uncomfortable with this situation. Not even Chizuru wanted to get involved though part of the reason may be because she and Tatsuki never got along too well.

"It's just gross." She replied.

"Ha. You're just saying that because your insecure about yourself." I said coldly. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with two girls liking each other."

Mahana fell silent with the rest of the group. She had no argument at all. Slowly everyone went back to eating. Chizuru looked over at her then at me and said; "I think I may have a new hero."

Tatsuki stopped eating and started packing up her lunch. She was very uncomfortable now. I don't blame her. I don't even blame Chizuru for being uncomfortable but at least she's putting up an effort.

"So Tatsuki," Michiru started and everyone fell silent. "Are you going to introduce us to this girl?"

Tatsuki looked down. I glanced over at her she was done talking with them. I placed a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." She said. "It's up to you what want to you do."

"It's alright," Tatsuki said quietly. "I don't have to introduce you to her."

"What do you mean?" Michiru asked.

"Well…" Tatsuki started then shied away.

"We already know each other." I finished bluntly. "I'm her girlfriend."

Again they were stunned. Chizuru was the fastest to recover by saying; "Wow, I really did not expect that one. Like I thought there was a chance you might be like that by the way you stood up for Tatsuki like that. But for the two of you to be dating, I'm speechless."

I claimed Tatsuki's hand with my own and smiled at her. She managed to smile back at me before Ryou spoke up. "So you gave her that hickey, Rukia?"

I looked at her. "Yes."

"Now, I'm just curious, but have the two of you done anything more then that?" she asked.

"Explain to me how that is any of your business." I said coolly. "I don't ask you about what you do in your spare time so don't ask me what I do in mine."

"That's not exactly something you should ask, Ryou." Chizuru said. "I mean come on. They probably only just got together yesterday."

"It was a few days ago actually." I corrected.

"Wow you move fast, Tatsuki. Can I get any pointers?" Chizuru asked excitedly.

"Don't do anything inappropriate." She said.

"Then confess and then get kidnapped." I added with a sly smile.

Tatsuki fell silent again as Orihime laughed nervously and burst out; "I can't believe you actually went along with it. I didn't think you would when I suggested it."

"Well it seemed fun at the time and Chizuru presented the perfect opportunity to say it." I laughed along with her making it seem like a big joke in everyone else's eyes.

"I can't believe you two sometimes." Tatsuki muttered. "It looks like you're never going to get that quiet lunch you wanted, Ryou."

"I've officially gave up a few moments ago." She said calmly. "But at least I still have my lunch this time."

She eyes Chizuru who gave another one of her forced sympathetic looks. No one really got to eat their lunches yet because of the conversation topic. So we all remained silent with the odd bits of conversation. When everyone was almost done the conversation had turn back on Tatsuki.

"Have you told your mom about it?" Michiru asked.

Tatsuki shook her head slowly. "She hasn't even met Rukia yet."

"What about you Rukia? Do you plan on telling your family about it?" she asked.

"If I told my brother he would have me imprisoned and say I brought shame to the Kuchiki name." I said honestly. "I've told a few others though."

"How did that go?" Ryou asked.

"Oh, it went well. They were happy for us and we all had sake to celebrate." I said cheerfully.

"Wait sake, as in alcohol? Both of you are underage." Ryou said loudly. "How could you even get it?"

I smiled slyly as Tatsuki hid her face in her hands and half shouted. "We didn't steal it or anything illegal! They were all old enough to get it."

I chuckled at everyone's reactions as they looked at us with shock. Even Orihime's reaction was pretty funny. "It's not something that will happen again. We only did it to celebrate and that was all."

"So you celebrated with Kyouraku and Nanao then?" Orihime asked.

"Yes, and Ukitake was also present." I confirmed.

"Does Renji know about it yet?" Orihime asked curiously.

"If I told him then Byakuya would find out." I said calmly. "So far from my knowledge it's only those three and Isane. However Unohana may know as well as many if not all squad four members."

Everyone was lost at our conversation now since they had no idea who or what we were talking about. We fell into silence once more and finished what was left of our lunch before lunch ended. The only two that didn't really eat were Tatsuki and Mahana. Both had lost their appetite during the conversation.

The bell rang signaling class would start soon. Everyone slowly packed up and got ready to go back to class. Mahana still didn't really move. She had been quiet since I spoke to her. Ryou glanced over at her. "Don't you have something to say, Mahana?"

She looked down at her untouched lunch. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Tatsuki said. "This was all a bit sudden anyways."

Mahana looked over at me next. "I'm sorry, Rukia."

"It's fine. I'm not mad at you." I said cheerfully.

We all got up and started back to the building. Orihime seemed to be the only one in a good mood as she walked beside me with a smile on her face. In her mind there was no awkwardness between any of us. To her everything was as it should be. I couldn't help but smile at her logic.

"Hey Rukia, will you'll be joining us for lunch everyday now or are you going to spend it alone with Tatsuki?" Chizuru asked.

Tatsuki glanced over at me as well. "Well, if it's okay with all of you I'll be joining you. This way Ryou might keep her lunch more often."

Michiru and Tatsuki chuckled recalling our last lunch together. Tatsuki looked over at Chizuru and pulled an eyelid down. "Don't even try it."

I joined in with their laughter as Tatsuki took my hand. We smiled at each other as we went to class.

**- End Omake -**

_Thank you for your time and for reading this. Remember R&R all opinions are welcome._


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